All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan

Be True to Yourself: The Wisdom of Ralph Waldo Emerson in Modern Life

• Teru Nakashima

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Introduction

Hello and welcome to today's podcast. I'm Teru Nakashima, a psychological counselor and educator from "Japan", and I'm delighted to be speaking with you today about a philosophy that has profoundly shaped my, approach to life and my work with clients.

Today, we're exploring one of the most powerful concepts from the American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson – the idea of "being true to yourself." In his seminal essay "Self-Reliance," Emerson wrote, "To be yourself, in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." These words, written in the 19th century, carry perhaps even more significance in our modern world.

Ralph Waldo Emerson was a leading voice in American transcendentalism, a philosophical movement that emphasized individual intuition, the divinity of nature, and the importance of self-reliance. His ideas have influenced countless thinkers, writers, civil rights activists, and even modern business leaders. Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher, was deeply influenced by Emerson's ideas on individualism. In Japan, Yukichi Fukuzawa, who helped modernize Japan during the Meiji Era, drew inspiration from Emerson's emphasis on independent thinking. And in recent times, President Barack Obama has repeatedly referenced Emerson's philosophy in his speeches about American resilience and self-determination.

In the next 30 minutes, we'll explore what it truly means to be faithful to yourself, why this concept remains vital in our modern world, and how we can practically apply Emerson's wisdom to create lives of genuine fulfillment and purpose.

Part 1: Emerson's Philosophy of Self-Reliance
Let's begin by understanding the core of Emerson's philosophy. What does it actually mean to "be true to yourself"?

In his essay "Self-Reliance," published in 1841, Emerson argued against conformity and for the supreme importance of trusting one's own instincts and ideas. He wrote, "What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think." This statement reflects his belief that we must follow our own internal compass rather than being guided by public opinion or societal expectations.

Emerson further emphasized, "Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind." For him, the greatest sin was not some external transgression but betraying your own authentic nature – what he called "self-betrayal." He believed that each individual has unique insights and gifts to offer the world, but these can only emerge when we have the courage to trust ourselves.

Perhaps his most famous line from "Self-Reliance" captures this perfectly: "Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string." Emerson believed that deep within each of us is an intuitive knowledge of our own path – what he called the "aboriginal Self" or the "gleam of light" that shines through us. When we honor this inner knowing, we access our greatest power and authenticity.

But Emerson was not advocating for mere selfishness or isolation. Rather, he believed that by being true to ourselves, we make our greatest contribution to humanity. As he wrote, "A man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise, shall give him no peace." In other words, our truest joy and peace come from expressing our authentic nature in service to the world. 

Emerson also acknowledged how difficult this path can be. "For nonconformity, the world whips you with its displeasure," he warned. Yet he insisted that the rewards of self-trust far outweigh the temporary discomfort of standing apart from the crowd. "To be great is to be misunderstood," he famously wrote, suggesting that truly original thinkers and authentic individ

Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem

Speaker 1:

Hey everyone, welcome back. Today we're going to be diving deep into this idea of self-reliance. It's a concept that's well. It feels incredibly timely, even though it comes from a philosopher, ralph Waldo Emerson, who was writing back in the 1800s in America.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's amazing how relevant Emerson's stuff still is today. I mean, you think about it. We're constantly bombarded with all these messages telling us who to be, what to buy.

Speaker 1:

You've got ads everywhere, social media algorithms kind of nudging our views, it's like a never ending stream of noise right, like it makes it so hard to even hear your own, like inner voice sometimes.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, and that's actually at the heart of what Emerson was getting at. He called it the aboriginal self, this kind of intuitive wisdom that we're all born with. It's like our inner compass, you know.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so we've got this aboriginal self that we need to tap into. But when Emerson talked about self-reliance, what did he actually mean? Some people think it means like being a total lone wolf, completely independent. Is that right?

Speaker 2:

Not quite. He wasn't saying we should isolate ourselves or reject all outside influence. It was more about learning to trust your own instincts, your own judgment, even when you know it might mean going against what everyone else is doing or saying. He has this really powerful quote. What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.

Speaker 1:

Wow, that's. That's pretty profound. Makes you stop and think, like, how often do we hold ourselves back from doing something we really want to do just because we're worried about what other people might think you?

Speaker 2:

know it's a struggle, right. I mean, society definitely tends to reward people who just go along with the crowd, but Emerson's point was that when you conform to stuff that you don't actually believe in, it weakens you. He talked about it as scattering your force.

Speaker 1:

That makes me think of times when I've've like tried to fit into some mold. That just didn't feel right. It was exhausting and, honestly, it didn't really lead to any kind of genuine happiness.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that's exactly what Emerson was warning against. He was convinced that true fulfillment, true happiness, comes from expressing your authentic self, even if it means being different, standing out from the crowd. The question is, how do we actually do that, especially in today's world? How do we cultivate that kind of self-trust when there's so much pressure to conform?

Speaker 1:

That's the million dollar question, right.

Speaker 2:

Okay. But, luckily, Emerson actually gave us some pretty practical guidance on that, didn't he? He did. And there's also another expert who can help us bridge those ideas to our modern lives, a Japanese counselor named Teru Nakashima. He's written a lot about this stuff.

Speaker 1:

Okay, now I'm intrigued. Tell me more about Nakashima and how his work connects to what Emerson was saying.

Speaker 2:

So Nakashima actually sees a pretty strong parallel between Emerson and a key figure in Japan's modernization, a guy named Yukichi Fukuzawa. They both really emphasized the importance of independent thinking, like breaking free from those outdated traditions.

Speaker 1:

Wow, so Emerson's ideas really had a global reach. It's amazing. But getting back to the practical stuff, what specific advice did Emerson and Nakashima have for actually building up that self-trust?

Speaker 2:

One thing they both stressed was the importance of listening to your inner voice, carving out some time for solitude, you know, even if it's just like 10 minutes a day, for some journaling or meditation, quieting all that external noise and reconnecting with that aboriginal self.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's like you have to create that space for your inner wisdom to kind of bubble up to the surface, right? But what about when it comes to actually making decisions? How can we be more self-reliant in our actions?

Speaker 2:

Well, it's not just about listening. It's about acting on what you hear. Emerson was really big on the idea that self-trust grows when you take action, even little steps, as long as they're in line with your values.

Speaker 1:

So like what's one decision I could make today, right now, that would reflect my true self, even if it's something that maybe other people wouldn't necessarily understand or approve of?

Speaker 2:

That's it, and you know when those inevitable setbacks come up, because they always do right. Nobody's perfect. Remember how Emerson looked at failure.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, he wasn't exactly a fan of that whole striving for perfection thing, was he?

Speaker 2:

Nope, he saw failure as a chance to learn, a valuable opportunity, not some kind of setback. He believed that your strength actually come from those weaknesses. So you know, instead of beating yourself up when something doesn't go as planned, try asking yourself what can I learn from this? What's this teaching me?

Speaker 1:

I love that. It's like reframing those so-called mistakes as like lessons learned, right, not defeats. Yeah now, you mentioned earlier that nakashima developed this whole framework called the six senses of self-affirmation. What's that all about?

Speaker 2:

oh yeah, it's a really interesting way of looking at how we can nurture different aspects of ourselves, ultimately building up that stronger sense of self, and he uses this great analogy of a tree oh, I love a good analogy.

Speaker 1:

Tell me more.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so picture the roots of a tree. Those represent your self-worth, that fundamental belief in your inherent value, like you're worthy, regardless of your achievements or what anyone else says. Right, then you've got the trunk, and that symbolizes self-acceptance, like embracing every part of yourself, even the messy bits.

Speaker 1:

Okay, roots for self-worth, trunk for self-acceptance. I'm with you so far. What about the branches then?

Speaker 2:

The branches represent self-efficacy, that feeling of being able to actually make things happen, achieve your goals.

Speaker 1:

And I'm guessing those leaves have something to do with self-reliance, huh.

Speaker 2:

You got it. Self-reliance is like those leaves taking in sunlight, converting it into nourishment for the whole tree but it doesn't stop there.

Speaker 1:

Wait, there's more to this tree. I'm on the edge of my seat here.

Speaker 2:

You've got the flowers, which represent self-determination, that ability to make choices that are in line with your values. And finally you have the fruit, and that symbolizes self-usefulness, that feeling that your unique gifts can actually contribute to the world in a meaningful way.

Speaker 1:

Wow, that's such a vivid image. It really highlights how all those elements self-worth, acceptance, efficacy, determination, usefulness are all connected and contribute to, like, a strong and healthy sense of self. But where does Emerson's concept of self-reliance fit into all of this?

Speaker 2:

Well, I think it's the linchpin. Honestly, it's the thing that holds it all together. It's about trusting your own inner compass, having the courage to act on what you believe in and viewing challenges as opportunities for growth. When you cultivate that self-reliance, it actually empowers you to embrace all those other senses your worth, your acceptance, your ability to make a difference.

Speaker 1:

I'm already feeling more empowered just thinking about it. It's incredibly inspiring, but I have to admit it's still kind of abstract. You know like, do we have any real world examples of people who embodied this self-alliance, people who actually lived this philosophy?

Speaker 2:

Oh, absolutely. And the coolest part is these examples aren't just historical figures. They're people who faced real challenges, just like we do, and made a difference because they had that self-belief ready for some inspiration.

Speaker 1:

Bring it on, I'm all ears. So who are these inspiring folks who really embodied this self-reliance thing? I need some examples to like really make this concept click for me.

Speaker 2:

Okay, well, let's start with someone you're probably familiar with Martin Luther King Jr. I mean, if you think about his life and work, it's a pretty powerful example of self-reliance and action.

Speaker 1:

Oh, absolutely. He stood up for what he believed in, even when it was dangerous, even when most people disagreed. He wasn't afraid to like challenge the status quo. That takes some serious courage.

Speaker 2:

Exactly and that I have a dream speech. It's so perfectly captures those ideas from Emerson about moral courage and trusting your gut. You know, King was actually really influenced by those transcendentalist thinkers like Emerson and it shows in his like unwavering commitment to his vision, even when he was facing so much opposition.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that reminds me of something Emerson wrote, something like to be great is to be misunderstood, and King was definitely misunderstood by a lot of people, but he stayed true to what he believed in. That's a huge lesson for all of us.

Speaker 2:

For sure. And think about his philosophy of nonviolent resistance. I mean that takes unbelievable inner strength and conviction. He was willing to face violence with peace, trusting that love would ultimately win out. That's self-reliance on a whole other level, trusting in something bigger than yourself, even when the world around you feels like it's falling apart.

Speaker 1:

It's so inspiring. Okay, so we've got this amazing civil rights leader as a prime example of self-reliance. Who else comes to mind? Something completely different, maybe.

Speaker 2:

How about let's jump into the world of technology? What about Steve Jobs?

Speaker 1:

Steve Jobs Interesting. I wouldn't have like immediately connected him with Emerson, but now that you mention it, yeah, yeah, I can see it.

Speaker 2:

Oh for sure Jobs was such a visionary, totally driven by his intuition. Do you remember that Stanford commencement speech he gave? He told those graduates to live your own life and not to waste time living someone else's.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, that's the one with the line. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life yeah, Such powerful advice.

Speaker 2:

Right and those words. They echo what Emerson was saying about not just blindly following the crowd. Almost perfectly, jobs really believed in trusting your gut, even when everyone else is telling you that you're wrong. His whole approach to innovation you know that focus on user experience, designing products that people didn't even know they needed yet was all about trusting his own vision.

Speaker 1:

And look what he accomplished. He revolutionized, like entire industries, by following his own path. That's a pretty incredible example of how self-reliance can create real change in the world. But it also makes me think wasn't Jobs also known for being well, really demanding, maybe even difficult to work with? Does that kind of come with the territory of being self-reliant?

Speaker 2:

Hmm, that's a great question and I think it brings up this point that self-reliance isn't about becoming some perfect, flawless person. It's about trusting that inner voice, even when it leads you down a path that's maybe a little unconventional. And, yeah, sometimes that might mean ruffling some feathers, you know, challenging the way things have always been done. But as Emerson said, for nonconformity the world whips you with its displeasure. It's kind of the price you pay for being true to yourself.

Speaker 1:

That's true. It's definitely not always easy to be self-reliant. It takes courage to stand up for what you believe in, especially when you're facing resistance.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. And it's not just about these big sweeping gestures or changing the world, you know. It's those everyday choices, big or small, where you decide to honor your own truth, even if it's something as simple as saying no when you don't want to do something, or voicing your opinion when everyone else seems to agree.

Speaker 1:

So it's more about those small acts of courage, that kind of build up over time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly, and the more you use that muscle, the stronger it gets. You start trusting your own judgment more and you become less influenced by all those external pressures and opinions.

Speaker 1:

That makes a lot of sense. It's like anything else, right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

The more you practice, the better you get.

Speaker 2:

Totally. Now, speaking of practice, let's circle back to those six senses of self-affirmation for a second. We talked about self-worth and self-acceptance, those roots and the trunk of our metaphorical tree, and self-acceptance, those roots in the trunk of our metaphorical tree. But what about those branches, that sense of self-efficacy, that belief in your ability to actually make things happen? How do we cultivate that?

Speaker 1:

That's a great question, because believing in yourself is one thing, but actually feeling capable of achieving your goals, that's a whole other ballgame.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

What did Emerson and Nakashima have to say about boosting that self-efficacy?

Speaker 2:

Well, they both really emphasized the power of taking action, of actually doing stuff that aligns with those values and aspirations you have. It's not enough to just think about what you want to achieve. You got to take concrete steps to get there.

Speaker 1:

So it's like the old saying, actions speak louder than words.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, it's about taking those steps, even when they seem small, maybe even insignificant at first, because each action, each success, no matter how small, builds your confidence and reinforces that belief of hey, I can do this.

Speaker 1:

You know that reminds me of something I read about forming new habits.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

The advice was to start small, like ridiculously small, so that you're almost guaranteed to succeed, like if you want to start exercising. Don't try to commit to an hour at the gym every day. Right away, start with just five minutes.

Speaker 2:

That's a perfect example. It's about setting yourself up for success and building that momentum gradually, and it applies to building self-reliance too. Start with those small acts of self-trust, and as you gain confidence, you'll naturally feel more equipped to handle bigger challenges.

Speaker 1:

I love that. It makes self-reliance seem way more approachable and attainable. But what about those other senses? You mentioned self-determination and self-usefulness. How do those fit into the picture?

Speaker 2:

Right. So self-determination is all about making those choices that align with your values, even when it's tough, even when it's unpopular. It's about being the captain of your own ship, as they say, and self-usefulness.

Speaker 1:

That's about recognizing those unique gifts and talents you have and using them to actually contribute something positive to the world. So it's not just about being independent and self-sufficient, but also about using your abilities to like make a difference. That has a whole other dimension to self-reliance.

Speaker 2:

It's about knowing that you have something valuable to offer and then having the courage to share it. And it doesn't have to be something huge or world-changing. You know, it could be simple as being a good friend, a supportive family member or a helpful coworker. It's about using those talents and strengths. You have to make a positive impact, no matter how small.

Speaker 1:

I love that perspective. It makes self-reliance feel less about ego and more about contributing to something bigger than yourself.

Speaker 2:

It's like.

Speaker 1:

We're all part of this interconnected web, and our individual acts of self-reliance can actually strengthen the whole thing.

Speaker 2:

That's a beautiful way to put it, and it goes back to Emerson's belief in the inherent goodness of humanity and the potential we all have. He truly believed that when we trust ourselves and act from a place of authenticity, we're not only benefiting ourselves, but we're also contributing to that collective good.

Speaker 1:

So in a way, self-reliance isn't just a personal journey, it's also kind of social responsibility.

Speaker 2:

I think that's a really strong argument. When we embrace our own individuality and express those unique gifts, we inspire other people to do the same. It creates this ripple effect that can transform communities and even whole societies. Think back to Martin Luther King Jr His act of self-reliance, of standing up for what he believed in. It inspired a movement that changed history.

Speaker 1:

It's a powerful reminder that our actions, even those seemingly small ones, can have far-reaching consequences.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. And it all comes back to that central question how do we cultivate this self-reliance in our own lives? How do we tap into that inner strength and wisdom and use it to create a life that's both fulfilling and meaningful? One way is to just look for those opportunities to practice self-trust, those little moments that pop up every day, those moments where you can choose to honor your truth even when it's hard.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so like what? Can you give me a concrete example?

Speaker 2:

Sure, imagine you're in a meeting, at work, and everybody seems to be on board with a certain plan, but deep down you have a different perspective, or maybe you see some potential problems that nobody else has noticed. In that moment, do you speak up and share your thoughts, even if it means going against the grain, or do you just stay quiet and go along with everyone else? That's a chance to practice self-reliance.

Speaker 1:

Right, it's about trusting your own judgment, even when it feels a little risky or uncomfortable.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, and even if your suggestion isn't ultimately the one they go with, the very act of speaking up, sharing your view, it strengthens that self-trust muscle, it reinforces that idea that, hey, I can do this, I can trust myself.

Speaker 1:

So it's not even about the outcome. It's more about the process of like staying true to yourself. You got it. It's more about the process of like staying true to yourself.

Speaker 2:

You got it. It's those small acts of courage that build up over time and ultimately lead to a stronger, more authentic sense of who you are.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's a really good point. You don't have to wait for some big life changing moment to start, you know, living more self-reliantly.

Speaker 2:

You can start right now, today, with something small.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. We've talked about all these amazing people like Martin Luther King Jr and Steve Jobs, but this whole self-reliance thing, it's not just for those big-time world changers or tech geniuses.

Speaker 2:

It's for everybody. It's those little everyday choices that add up.

Speaker 1:

Like yeah, like speaking up in that meeting when you see things differently, or setting those boundaries with a loved one, even when it's hard, exactly.

Speaker 2:

Those, exactly those, are acts of self-reliance right there, building up that self-trust muscle, one step at a time.

Speaker 1:

And as you keep doing that, those things that used to seem scary they start to feel easier and you find yourself taking on bigger challenges.

Speaker 2:

It's not about reaching some final destination, you know. It's more like embracing the journey of becoming more and more yourself, trusting your own intuition, having the courage to create a life that really reflects who you are.

Speaker 1:

I love that Self-reliance really means and I'm definitely feeling inspired to put these ideas into action in my own life.

Speaker 2:

Me too, and I hope everyone listening is feeling that same spark. Remember, self-reliance isn't some finish line you cross. It's a way of living, a way of being. It's about cultivating that inner strength, that connection to your true self, and then having the guts to actually live from that place, day after day, choice after choice.

Speaker 1:

So well said. To wrap up this deep dive, I'm going to leave you with one final thought from Emerson himself. He said nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles. So I encourage you to take some time to really think about what those principles are for you, what truly matters to you deep down inside, and then have the courage to actually live by them. That's where you'll find real peace, real fulfillment.

Speaker 2:

That's beautiful. I think that's the perfect note to end on.

Speaker 1:

Thanks so much for joining us on this deep dive into Emersonian self-reliance. We hope you found it insightful and inspiring. Until next time, keep trusting yourselves, keep exploring and keep shining your own unique light on the world.

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