All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
Teru Nakashima: A Pioneer in Self-Esteem Psychology
# Teru Nakashima: Leading Voice in Self-Esteem Psychology
Teru Nakashima is a prominent Japanese psychological counselor, author, and public speaker who developed "Natural Psychology," an approach to enhancing self-acceptance and transforming lives. After overcoming severe personal struggles, including a decade as a hikikomori (social recluse) and multiple suicide attempts, he independently studied psychology and therapy, developing methods that led to his own recovery and eventually helping others.
## Core Theory and Methodology
Nakashima's theory of self-acceptance centers on six fundamental elements:
- Sense of Existence: Feeling one's life has value
- Sense of Competence: Believing in one's abilities
- Sense of Belonging: Feeling accepted in society
- Sense of Security: Having a safe space
- Self-Trust: Being reliable and dependable
- Self-Esteem: Recognizing one's inherent worth
His methodology follows three key steps:
1. Self-Recognition: Acknowledging all aspects of oneself
2. Self-Acceptance: Embracing one's complete self
3. Self-Affirmation: Recognizing one's inherent value
## Impact and Work
Nakashima has authored several bestselling books, including "Three Steps to Enhance Self-Acceptance" and "How to Love Yourself." He conducts training sessions nationwide for corporations, educational institutions, and hospitals. His YouTube channel and daily newsletter provide practical guidance on self-acceptance and personal growth.
His unique contribution includes the concept of "mental brakes" - unconscious blocks formed from past trauma and negative thought patterns. He teaches that true self-acceptance isn't about forced positivity but embracing one's authentic self completely. Nakashima also introduces "fudoshin" (immovable mind) as the ultimate state of self-acceptance - maintaining inner stability regardless of external circumstances.
His work particularly resonates in Japanese society, where issues of self-worth and social pressure are prevalent. Through seminars, books, digital content, and counseling sessions, Nakashima continues to provide hope and practical guidance to those struggling with self-acceptance, while his principles are increasingly applied in organizational development to improve workplace relationships and employee well-being.
All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
Six Layers of Self-Affirmation: Coaching for Life
We dive into a rich exploration of motivation, focusing on Coach Taro Nakashima's six aspects of self-affirmation. Each concept emphasizes a profound understanding of how motivation arises from within ourselves.
• Understanding the environment and not allowing external factors to define us
• Emphasizing self-acceptance and the role of behavior in motivation
• Boosting self-efficacy through past successes and visualization
• Recognizing the importance of beliefs and values in sustaining motivation
• Exploring identity and how our choices shape who we are
• Connecting spirituality to a larger purpose for deeper motivation
You have the power to choose, to create, to live a life that feels truly motivated from the inside out.
Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
Hey everyone, Welcome back, Ready for another deep dive? Today we're tackling motivation.
Speaker 2:Ooh, motivation. Who doesn't need a bit more of that sometimes? But we're going deep right, Not just like those cheesy motivational posters.
Speaker 1:Right, we're going to look at how coaches especially inspire athletes during those super clutch moments.
Speaker 2:So when the game's on the line, the pressure is on. How do they find that extra gear?
Speaker 1:Exactly, We've got this amazing source a talk by a coach named Taro Nakashima.
Speaker 2:Taro Nakashima.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he breaks his approach down into, like these, six aspects of self-affirmation, which is fancy for saying he's got a framework for addressing well different levels of thinking and action to help people overcome challenges.
Speaker 2:So like a blueprint for building mental toughness, not just for athletes but anyone really.
Speaker 1:That's the cool part. It's totally applicable to all of us.
Speaker 2:I like that.
Speaker 1:All right. So imagine this Championship game. Clock is ticking down, the tension you can cut it with a knife.
Speaker 2:Oh, I can feel it already.
Speaker 1:That's where Coach Nakashima starts his talk, like he embraces the intensity of the moment.
Speaker 2:Doesn't shy away from it at all.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:So how does he frame it for the team?
Speaker 1:Well, first he tackles the elephant in the room.
Speaker 2:Okay, the obvious stuff, the pressure.
Speaker 1:The score, the crazy crowd, even like the sun in their eyes. All that external stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, stuff you can't control.
Speaker 1:But he does this brilliant thing he acknowledges those factors but he doesn't let them define the team's worth.
Speaker 2:It's like separating the person from the circumstances.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, there is this one line that gives me chills every time he says, yes, the sun is in our eyes, but none of that defines who we are.
Speaker 2:Ooh, that's good. It's so true, right? How often do we let outside stuff dictate how we feel about ourselves?
Speaker 1:All the time. A bad meeting, a traffic jam it can totally ruin your whole mood.
Speaker 2:Totally Nakashima's reminding us we're bigger than that.
Speaker 1:But how do you actually show that to a team you know? Words only go so far.
Speaker 2:That's where nonverbal communication comes in. The way a coach carries themselves, their tone, their eye contact, it all speaks volumes. It's like that silent. I believe in you message exactly.
Speaker 1:It can make or break a team spirit. Okay, so we've got the environment and the coaches unwavering belief in the team's worth. What's the next layer in Nakashima's framework?
Speaker 2:he digs into behavior, the what to do, and this is interesting he kind of flips the script on the whole demand perfection approach.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that old school mentality.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Instead he pushes for self-acceptance, even when mistakes happen.
Speaker 1:So it's not about ignoring mistakes altogether.
Speaker 2:Not at all. It's about acknowledging them, learning and moving on Makes sense.
Speaker 1:Dwelling on mistakes doesn't help anyone.
Speaker 2:Nope, nakashima gives this example. He says Johnson missed three shots earlier and that's okay. Now we'll execute play number four.
Speaker 1:So he's not letting the missed shots define Johnson's performance.
Speaker 2:Exactly, it's about focusing on the next play, the next opportunity.
Speaker 1:But how do you walk that line between accepting mistakes and still pushing for improvement?
Speaker 2:It's all in the delivery. A good coach uses nonverbal cues like demonstrating the play with confidence, giving a reassuring pat on the back.
Speaker 1:Showing them the way forward.
Speaker 2:Exactly, it's that balance of acceptance and guidance.
Speaker 1:We could all use a bit of that in our own lives. Right, Be kinder to ourselves when we mess up.
Speaker 2:Totally. It's progress over perfection, right.
Speaker 1:So we've got environment, we've got behavior. What's next?
Speaker 2:Now it's about tapping into capability and self-efficacy, that unshakable belief in your ability to succeed.
Speaker 1:It's more than just confidence, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, confidence is important, but self-efficacy is more specific. It's about believing you can execute a particular skill.
Speaker 1:Like I know I can hit this free throw or I can nail this presentation.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and a good coach knows how to trigger that feeling.
Speaker 1:How do they do that?
Speaker 2:Nakashima talks about reminding players of specific skills they've mastered. Like Williams, remember that defensive technique we practiced. Your quick hands are what we need right now.
Speaker 1:It's like they're activating that muscle memory.
Speaker 2:Totally. They're triggering those. I've got this feelings and again, nonverbal cues play a huge role.
Speaker 1:Like mirroring the player's skills, showing them they believe in those abilities.
Speaker 2:It's subtle but super effective. It's about more than just saying you got this. It's about showing them they do.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we've gone from acknowledging the environment to taking action, to tapping into capabilities. This is already a whole new way of thinking about motivation. Where does Coach Nakashima take us next?
Speaker 2:He goes deeper, beyond just individual skills and actions, to the realm of beliefs and values. This is where a team's identity really shines through.
Speaker 1:I love that. It's about more than just the scoreboard.
Speaker 2:Exactly it's about playing the game with integrity, living up to your values.
Speaker 1:Like playing fair, supporting your teammates, things like that.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Nakashima gives this example. He says we believe in defensive integrity above all else. This team has overcome greater challenges because we trust our training and each other.
Speaker 1:It's about remembering what they stand for, even when things get tough.
Speaker 2:Exactly. It's about tapping into those core values that give them strength and resilience.
Speaker 1:Powerful stuff, but how do you communicate that non-verbally? Does the coach just start listing their values on a whiteboard?
Speaker 2:No, it's much more subtle. It's in the way they interact with the team, the little gestures, the energy they bring, like placing a hand over their heart when talking about their shared belief, or bringing the team into a tight huddle, physically representing that unity.
Speaker 1:Showing them, not just telling them.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Nonverbal cues add another layer of meaning.
Speaker 1:Okay, so far we've got environment, behavior, capability, and now beliefs and values. This framework is amazing. What's next?
Speaker 2:Now we're getting into the really deep stuff identity and self-determination. This is about who we are at our core and the choices that shape that identity.
Speaker 1:Oh, this is getting philosophical.
Speaker 2:It is Because, ultimately, motivation comes from within. It's about owning your choices, defining yourself through actions.
Speaker 1:Like having the world define you.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:So how does Coach Nakashima bring this to the team? How does he address this idea of self-determination?
Speaker 2:Imagine him saying something like you are champions, regardless of tonight's outcome, you've chosen this path. You've determined to give everything. That choice defines you more than any trophy ever could.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's deep. He's talking about winning in life, not just the game.
Speaker 2:Right, he's reminding them that their identity isn't tied to the scoreboard. It's tied to their dedication, their perseverance.
Speaker 1:It's about those internal qualities.
Speaker 2:Exactly. And those nonverbal cues we talked about. They become even more important here. The way the coach stands, their tone, their conviction, it all reinforces that message of self-determination.
Speaker 1:So it's not just the words, it's the whole package.
Speaker 2:Exactly. It's about embodying that belief in the team's inherent worth and potential.
Speaker 1:Okay, before we go any further, I got to ask what does this make you think about? What choices are you making that are shaping your identity?
Speaker 2:Ooh, that's a good one. It really makes you stop and think.
Speaker 1:Right, it's a powerful question.
Speaker 2:It is. We're constantly making choices, and they all add up to who we become.
Speaker 1:This is getting deep and I'm loving it, but we're not done yet, are we? There's one more level to explore in Coach Nakashima's framework.
Speaker 2:There is, and it might surprise you. The final level is spirituality. Spirituality In a sports context. I gotta admit I wasn't expecting that. It might seem a bit out there, but he elevates motivation to a higher level, connecting it to a sense of purpose beyond the immediate game.
Speaker 1:So it's not just about winning or losing, it's about something bigger.
Speaker 2:Exactly. It's about connecting to a sense of meaning and purpose that goes beyond the scoreboard.
Speaker 1:Like how their actions might inspire others.
Speaker 2:Yes, he talks about how the players' actions might inspire young kids watching the game, how their perseverance and teamwork can have a ripple effect.
Speaker 1:It's about recognizing that our actions have a larger impact, even when we don't realize it.
Speaker 2:Exactly. It's about tapping into something bigger than ourselves, finding meaning beyond our individual goals.
Speaker 1:But how do you communicate that sense of spirituality non-verbally?
Speaker 2:Hmm, that's a good question. It's subtle, but think about it. Maybe the coach looks upward, gesturing towards the stands, or places a hand on a player's shoulder, conveying a sense of connection and shared purpose.
Speaker 1:That's like they're linking the team's efforts to something larger than themselves.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and that connection can be incredibly motivating.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we've explored all six levels of Coach Nakashima's framework, from the environment to spirituality. This is incredible. It really is I feel like we've just scratched the surface of a whole new world of motivational strategies.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and what's amazing is that these principles apply to all of us, not just athletes.
Speaker 1:I can't wait to dive into that more. But first let's all just take a moment to let all of this sink in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a lot to unpack here.
Speaker 1:All right. So we just explored Coach Nakashima's six aspects of self-affirmation.
Speaker 2:I'm still thinking about that whole spirituality level Really makes you think huh, it does, but what's cool is how these levels all work together, like they build on each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Like it's not enough to just say focus on your behavior. You got to address the environment, your beliefs, all of it.
Speaker 2:It's a holistic approach, right. It's about understanding the whole person.
Speaker 1:But I bet our listeners are thinking, okay, this is all great in theory but how do I actually use this stuff Right?
Speaker 2:How do we take these ideas from the locker room to like real life? Well, let's start with the environment. Remember how Coach Nakashima says to acknowledge it, but not let it define you. The sun is in our eyes, but yeah, but that doesn't define who we are. We can use that same idea in any tough situation.
Speaker 1:So, like say, I'm facing a crazy deadline at work, it's easy to freak out, right.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely. But instead of getting lost in the stress, take a step back.
Speaker 1:Okay, breathe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and remind yourself this deadline is intense, but it doesn't change who I am or what I'm capable of.
Speaker 1:So it's like separating the facts from the feelings.
Speaker 2:Yes, the deadline is a fact. The feeling of panic, that's separate.
Speaker 1:And that feeling doesn't have to control me.
Speaker 2:Exactly. You can choose how to respond.
Speaker 1:Okay, that makes sense. So acknowledge the environment, but don't let it define you what's next?
Speaker 2:Then we look at behavior. Remember self-acceptance and de-specific actions.
Speaker 1:So if I'm working on that project and I make a mistake, I don't just go. Oh, everyone makes mistakes.
Speaker 2:No, no, it's not about lowering your standards. It's about recognizing that mistakes happen, especially when we're pushing ourselves.
Speaker 1:Got to learn from them, right.
Speaker 2:Yes, Analyze what went wrong. Figure out how to avoid it next time.
Speaker 1:So instead of beating myself up, I can be more constructive about it.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and it applies to how we talk to ourselves too.
Speaker 1:Like, instead of that inner voice screaming you're so stupid, I can be more like okay, that didn't work. What can I learn from this?
Speaker 2:Yes, be your own coach. Offer yourself the same support you'd give a friend.
Speaker 1:This is seriously making me rethink my self-talk. Okay, so environment behavior where do we go from here?
Speaker 2:Time to tap into that capability and self-efficacy we talked about. It's about believing you can actually do the thing.
Speaker 1:So back to that deadline. If I'm feeling overwhelmed by the task, how do I boost my self-efficacy?
Speaker 2:One way is to remember past successes. Think about times you faced similar challenges and rocked it.
Speaker 1:Like remember that presentation you nailed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Remind yourself that you've got the skills.
Speaker 1:You've done it before it's like a highlight reel of your own awesomeness.
Speaker 2:Exactly. And don't forget visualization. Picture yourself successfully completing the project, feeling calm and in control.
Speaker 1:So it's not just about remembering the past, it's about envisioning the future.
Speaker 2:Yeah, combining those two things can be super powerful for motivation.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is all making so much sense, but what about those deeper levels? How?
Speaker 2:do we tap into our beliefs and values when things get tough. This is where we connect to our core principles, like what truly matters to you, what are you willing to stand up for, even when it's hard.
Speaker 1:For me, it's about integrity, being authentic, making a positive impact.
Speaker 2:Beautiful, and when you're facing a challenge, remember those values. Ask yourself how can I approach this in a way that aligns with who I am?
Speaker 1:It's about staying true to yourself, even under pressure.
Speaker 2:Yes, when your actions match your values, you tap into a deeper motivation.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is powerful stuff. We've talked about environment, behavior, capability, beliefs and values. What about that identity piece? How do we apply that in everyday life?
Speaker 2:This is where self-determination comes in. Remember, we get to choose who we want to be, how we show up in the world.
Speaker 1:We're not just reacting, we're creating our own story.
Speaker 2:I love that and it's so true. Every choice shapes who we become.
Speaker 1:So it's not about controlling everything that happens to us. It's about controlling how we respond. Exactly, and that sense of choice. That's where our power lies. Okay, okay, I'm ready for the final level. How do we bring spirituality into our everyday lives?
Speaker 2:it still feels a bit abstract to me remember how coach Nakashima talked about connecting to something larger than ourselves yeah we can do that by finding meaning in our work, our relationships, our contributions to the world so it's about finding our purpose, the thing that gets us out of bed in the morning. Exactly, it could be a passion for a cause, a commitment to helping others, whatever lights you up.
Speaker 1:And that purpose fuels our motivation, gives us direction.
Speaker 2:It's like having a compass that guides us through tough times.
Speaker 1:You know I was a bit skeptical about the whole spirituality thing at first, but now I'm starting to see how it fits in. It's about finding that deeper meaning that sense of purpose that makes our actions matter.
Speaker 2:It's like aligning our actions with our values, our beliefs, our truest selves, and when we do that, we unlock a level of motivation that's not just about achieving goals. It's about living a fulfilling life.
Speaker 1:Wow, we've really gone deep on this deep dive from pep talks to like the meaning of life. Who knew motivation was so complex?
Speaker 2:It's a lot more than just you know go get them. It's about understanding those layers of ourselves and how they all connect.
Speaker 1:For me, the biggest takeaway is that idea of self-determination.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That we have the power to choose, no matter what.
Speaker 2:Right. It reminds me of that Viktor Frankl quote Everything can be taken from a man, but one thing the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances. Powerful stuff.
Speaker 1:So powerful. It means, even when things feel totally out of control, we still have a choice in how we respond. And that's where our true freedom lies, and that freedom is the foundation of like real motivation. Right? It's not about relying on external rewards. It's about choosing to act in alignment with our values and goals.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. It's about that internal drive. It's about being proactive, not just reactive.
Speaker 1:It's like that, saying grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Speaker 2:Perfect courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Perfect.
Speaker 1:So, as we wrap up this deep dive. What's the key takeaway you hope our listeners walk away with Good question. I think it's that motivation isn't something we find out there in the world.
Speaker 2:It's not something someone just gives you right.
Speaker 1:No, it's something we cultivate within ourselves. It's about self-awareness, it's about action and, ultimately, it's about connecting to that deeper sense of purpose.
Speaker 2:It's about living a life that feels truly meaningful.
Speaker 1:Couldn't have said it better myself. So, to everyone listening, think about those six aspects of self-affirmation we explored today.
Speaker 2:Which one speaks to you right now.
Speaker 1:Where could you focus your energy to unlock that next level of motivation?
Speaker 2:And remember you have the power to choose, to create, to live a life that feels truly motivated from the inside out.
Speaker 1:That's it for this deep dive. Thanks for joining us.
