All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
Teru Nakashima: A Pioneer in Self-Esteem Psychology
# Teru Nakashima: Leading Voice in Self-Esteem Psychology
Teru Nakashima is a prominent Japanese psychological counselor, author, and public speaker who developed "Natural Psychology," an approach to enhancing self-acceptance and transforming lives. After overcoming severe personal struggles, including a decade as a hikikomori (social recluse) and multiple suicide attempts, he independently studied psychology and therapy, developing methods that led to his own recovery and eventually helping others.
## Core Theory and Methodology
Nakashima's theory of self-acceptance centers on six fundamental elements:
- Sense of Existence: Feeling one's life has value
- Sense of Competence: Believing in one's abilities
- Sense of Belonging: Feeling accepted in society
- Sense of Security: Having a safe space
- Self-Trust: Being reliable and dependable
- Self-Esteem: Recognizing one's inherent worth
His methodology follows three key steps:
1. Self-Recognition: Acknowledging all aspects of oneself
2. Self-Acceptance: Embracing one's complete self
3. Self-Affirmation: Recognizing one's inherent value
## Impact and Work
Nakashima has authored several bestselling books, including "Three Steps to Enhance Self-Acceptance" and "How to Love Yourself." He conducts training sessions nationwide for corporations, educational institutions, and hospitals. His YouTube channel and daily newsletter provide practical guidance on self-acceptance and personal growth.
His unique contribution includes the concept of "mental brakes" - unconscious blocks formed from past trauma and negative thought patterns. He teaches that true self-acceptance isn't about forced positivity but embracing one's authentic self completely. Nakashima also introduces "fudoshin" (immovable mind) as the ultimate state of self-acceptance - maintaining inner stability regardless of external circumstances.
His work particularly resonates in Japanese society, where issues of self-worth and social pressure are prevalent. Through seminars, books, digital content, and counseling sessions, Nakashima continues to provide hope and practical guidance to those struggling with self-acceptance, while his principles are increasingly applied in organizational development to improve workplace relationships and employee well-being.
All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
The Inner Dialogue: Unpacking Our Thoughts
Have you ever stopped to consider the power of your inner thoughts? The narrative we carry within can shape our reality more than we realize. In today’s episode, we explore the profound impact of our inner dialogue and how it translates into our daily lives. With insights drawn from the meditation "Words Weaving Your Future Story," we delve deep into self-affirmation and transformation, using the metaphor of a tree to illustrate crucial aspects of our self-worth, acceptance, capabilities, and determination.
As we unpack how negative thoughts are often automatic and ingrained from past experiences, we present strategies to challenge these limiting beliefs. You'll learn how to shift your inner script from "I can't" to "I can," and the scientific basis for affirmations strengthening positive neural pathways in our brain. Incorporating breathwork as you practice positive affirmations further enhances this transformation, fostering a holistic approach to emotional health.
Finally, we’ll offer practical tips for integrating mindfulness into your busy life. By creating reminders and checking in with your self-talk throughout the day, you can cultivate a positive shift not only for yourself but also in your interactions with others. Join us as we discover together how intentional language and self-compassion can ripple out into the world, creating a more harmonious environment for everyone.
Don’t forget to subscribe, share this episode with someone who might benefit, and leave a review! Let’s explore the potential of our words together.
Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
All right, get ready, because today we are going to dive deep into something pretty fascinating.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:It's the world of words.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:But not just the words, like the ones we're speaking right now. Right, we're talking about that constant inner chatter, you know, all those thoughts we have about ourselves and the world around us. Yeah, so you shared some excerpts from a guided meditation called Words Weaving your Future Story.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And we are going to unpack just how powerful our inner dialogue really is.
Speaker 2:It really is. It's fascinating how much those seemingly fleeting thoughts really influence our emotions and our actions, even our overall well-being.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We just don't realize it.
Speaker 1:I know I underestimate it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like think about it. How many times have you caught yourself spiraling down a rabbit hole of all this negative self-talk?
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, for sure, like it can impact your whole day, oh, totally.
Speaker 1:And this meditation seems to offer a way out of that cycle.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And I'm just eager to understand how it works.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, it all starts with awareness.
Speaker 1:The meditation guides you to just observe those thoughts, just observe without judgment okay, it's like becoming this curious observer of your own mind kind of like hitting the pause button on autopilot right, because? I know, at least for me. Yeah, those negative thought patterns they can get so automatic. I don't even realize they're happening it's true, it's true so it's about just noticing yeah, just noticing okay that's so important.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's the first step to breaking free from those habitual ways of thinking.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And the meditation uses a really interesting analogy to kind of illustrate this process. Okay, it guides you to visualize a tree, with each part representing a different aspect of self-affirmation.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, okay. So it's like you're building a stronger sense of self with each visualization. Exactly, yeah, okay, wow, okay. So it's like you're building a stronger sense of self with each visualization.
Speaker 2:Exactly yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool, yeah, so walk me through this truth. What does it all represent?
Speaker 2:Okay, so the roots? The roots are all about self-worth, that deep-seated belief that I deserve to be here.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:My existence has meaning. It's about recognizing your inherent value.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Regardless of your accomplishments or what other people think of you.
Speaker 1:That's a powerful concept.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Especially in a world where we're constantly bombarded with all these messages telling us we need to achieve certain things or look a certain way to be worthy. Exactly, exactly so cultivating the sense of inherent self-worth is important.
Speaker 2:Crucial, it's crucial, yeah, the foundation for everything else.
Speaker 1:OK, so then growing out of those strong roots. Yes, you have the trunk.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:The trend and that represents.
Speaker 2:Self-acceptance.
Speaker 1:Self-acceptance.
Speaker 2:Embracing all parts of yourself. Mm, hmm, the imperfections.
Speaker 1:So it's not about trying to change yourself or fit into some ideal mold.
Speaker 2:No, not at all.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:It's recognizing that you are perfectly imperfect.
Speaker 1:I love that, just as you are, okay.
Speaker 2:And that's more than enough.
Speaker 1:I love that message.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It makes me think about how much energy we waste. Oh, so much Trying to be someone we're not. Yes, what's next on this tree of self-affirmation?
Speaker 2:So from the trunk you have branches reaching out in all directions.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And they represent your capabilities, capabilities, capabilities. So the meditation encourages you to really acknowledge your strengths, your skills, your potential to really navigate all of life's challenges.
Speaker 1:So it's about recognizing you have the resources and resilience to overcome obstacles and achieve goals.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it's not about never making mistakes.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:It's about trusting your ability to learn and grow from those experiences.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm really starting to see how these different elements work together to create this more solid, empowering sense of self. Yeah, what about those like lush, vibrant leaves?
Speaker 2:Oh, the leaves.
Speaker 1:What do they symbolize?
Speaker 2:Well, the leaves represent self-reliance, they kind of soak up the sunlight, they nourish the tree.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And they represent that connection to your own inner wisdom, knowing that you can depend on yourself to make choices that are aligned with your values.
Speaker 1:It's almost like tapping into your own inner compass, trusting your gut, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2:It's almost like tapping into your own inner compass, trusting your gut. Exactly, exactly. It's about cultivating that inner knowing.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:That quiet confidence that you have the answers within you.
Speaker 1:All right, this tree is really coming to life. Yes, we've got the roots A strong trunk Branches reaching out. Reaching out Leaves soaking up the sun.
Speaker 2:Now we get to the blossoms.
Speaker 1:I was thinking like juicy peaches or apples or something I'm intrigued.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah Well, the blossoms.
Speaker 1:What are the blossoms supposed to represent?
Speaker 2:They represent self-determination.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:That ability to choose your path and create your reality.
Speaker 1:So it's not just about accepting yourself as you are.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's about actively shaping the life you want to live.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and it's not about controlling everything Right. It's about taking responsibility for your choices and actions and knowing you have the power to influence your own destiny.
Speaker 1:And finally we arrive at the fruit of the tree.
Speaker 2:Yes, the fruit of the tree.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And it represents self-usefulness. Self-usefulness, the understanding that your unique gifts and talents can make a positive impact on the world.
Speaker 1:Wow, I'm really seeing the full picture here. It's like this whole process of self-affirmation isn't just about feeling good about ourselves. It's about recognizing our interconnectedness, how we can contribute to something larger than ourselves. It's about recognizing our interconnectedness Absolutely, how we can contribute to something larger than ourselves.
Speaker 2:That's a beautiful way to put it.
Speaker 1:And it's a reminder that we all have something valuable to offer. We do yeah, I'm already feeling more grounded and optimistic just thinking about this tree analogy. Yeah, I have to admit, I struggle with those pesky negative thoughts that creep in, oh yeah, and try to sabotage all my efforts.
Speaker 2:That's real.
Speaker 1:How does this meditation address that?
Speaker 2:That's where the real transformation begins. That's what we'll explore next.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we've got this incredible tree analogy, right, right, representing this solid foundation of self-affirmation.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:But let's be real, yeah, life isn't always sunshine and blossoms. No, we all have those moments where the doubt creeps in. It does and that negative self-talk, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 1:So how does this meditation help us deal with that?
Speaker 2:Well, the meditation doesn't shy away from that reality at all.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:It actually guides you to identify those limiting beliefs, those phrases that you might repeat to yourself, that are actually holding you back. Right, it's about bringing those thoughts to the surface.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So you can start to dismantle them.
Speaker 1:So it's not about pretending those negative thoughts don't exist.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:But rather confronting them.
Speaker 2:Exactly Because here's the thing. Okay, those negative thoughts, they often stem from really deep-seated beliefs that we've been sharing for years.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Maybe even from childhood.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:The first step is just recognizing them. Okay, acknowledging their presence.
Speaker 1:Yes, but recognizing them doesn't make them disappear right, yeah, right. So what do we do?
Speaker 2:Well, that's where the real magic of this meditation comes in.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:It guides you to consciously transform those negative phrases into something more empowering.
Speaker 1:So, instead of saying I always fail, you shift it to. I am continuously learning and growing.
Speaker 2:Exactly or instead of I'm not good enough you affirm, affirm. I am exactly where I need to be on my journey.
Speaker 1:It's like you're taking those old, worn out scripts.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And rewriting them with a more positive, more supportive narrative.
Speaker 2:That's a great way to put it. It's about reclaiming your power.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Choosing to focus on thoughts that uplift you and encourage you, rather than those that limit you and define you. Rather than those that limit you and define you.
Speaker 1:And this ties in with some pretty fascinating research in neuroscience.
Speaker 2:Oh, it does yeah.
Speaker 1:Studies have shown that repeating affirmations actually changes the neural pathways in our brains.
Speaker 2:It's true.
Speaker 1:Wait, really yeah. So it's not just some feel good technique.
Speaker 2:No, not at all.
Speaker 1:There is actual science behind it.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Wow. The more we repeat those positive affirmations, the more we strengthen those neural connections that are associated with positive emotions. Okay, self-compassion, resilient, resilient.
Speaker 1:So it's like we're literally rewiring our brains for greater happiness and well-being.
Speaker 2:Exactly. That's incredible. It's pretty cool.
Speaker 1:It makes you realize how much power we have to shape our minds and ultimately our realities.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and the meditation doesn't just stop at mental repetition. Oh it brings in a really crucial element to anchor those affirmations.
Speaker 1:Okay, the breath, that's right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I was wondering about that. How does breath work play into this?
Speaker 2:Well, think about it.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Our breath is always with us.
Speaker 1:It is.
Speaker 2:It's such a powerful tool.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:For connecting with our bodies and regulating our emotions.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:In the meditation you're guided to inhale deeply as you repeat those positive affirmations. Oh, Imagining you're drawing in all that positive energy.
Speaker 1:And then you exhale and release any negativity.
Speaker 2:Slowly Releasing any negativity or limiting beliefs.
Speaker 1:That no longer serve you. So it's like you're literally breathing life into those new positive thoughts.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And letting go of the old patterns that were holding you back.
Speaker 2:You got it.
Speaker 1:By connecting the breath with those affirmations, you're not just thinking them you're embodying them making them part of your physical experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that can be incredibly powerful in shifting your emotional state.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Moving from a place of stress or anxiety to a state of calm and clarity.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm starting to see how all these pieces fit together. Good, we're not just talking about positive thinking here.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:It's a deeper transformation that involves our thoughts, emotions and even our physical sensations.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And this transformation, it seems like, has ripple effects that go beyond just our inner world.
Speaker 2:They do.
Speaker 1:The meditation hints at this, toward the end yeah. When it encourages you to speak to yourself with the same kindness you would offer a beloved friend.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:That's such a good reminder.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 1:But it got me thinking.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:How do you use that extending beyond our relationship with ourselves?
Speaker 2:That's a really important question.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it gets to the heart of why this work is so meaningful. When we cultivate greater self-compassion and understanding, it naturally spills over into our interactions with others.
Speaker 1:We become more patient.
Speaker 2:We do.
Speaker 1:More forgiving.
Speaker 2:Yes, more empathetic.
Speaker 1:Absolutely it's like we can't pour from an empty cup, right. Exactly If we're constantly criticizing ourselves, depleting our own energy, it's hard to show up for others.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 1:In a truly supportive way.
Speaker 2:But when we take the time to nurture ourselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:To fill our own cups with kindness and acceptance.
Speaker 1:And we have so much more to give.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we do.
Speaker 1:And that's when our relationships begin to flourish. Absolutely it's like creating a positive feedback loop. It is the more kindness we offer ourselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The more we have to extend to others Right, the more positive and harmonious our interactions become.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and it's not just about our close personal relationships.
Speaker 1:It's about how we interact with everyone we encounter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, from our family and friends to our colleagues, even strangers on the street.
Speaker 1:So it's like we're radiating this positive energy outward.
Speaker 2:Creating a more uplifting, supportive environment.
Speaker 1:For everyone around us.
Speaker 2:That's the power of conscious language.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It all starts with that inner awareness. Right that willingness to pay attention to the words we're using and make a conscious choice to shift them towards greater positivity and kindness.
Speaker 1:It all comes back to that message, the heart of this meditation.
Speaker 2:You have the power to shape your reality with the words you choose.
Speaker 1:Such a powerful reminder.
Speaker 2:It is, it is.
Speaker 1:It's easy to feel like we're at the mercy of our circumstances.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 1:But this meditation shows us that we actually have much more agency than we realize.
Speaker 2:Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1:We're not just passive recipients of our experiences.
Speaker 2:We have the ability to actively shape our thoughts, our emotions.
Speaker 1:Ultimately our lives.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:And that brings us back to one of the core messages of this deep dive you have the power to shape your reality with the words you choose.
Speaker 2:It's a message that bears repeating. It does, and's a message that bears repeating.
Speaker 1:It does.
Speaker 2:And it's something that we can all benefit from remembering.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Especially when life throws us those inevitable curveballs. Well said, thank you.
Speaker 1:And I think that's a perfect place to take a moment to reflect on what we've uncovered so far. Ok, so we've covered so much ground in this deep dive.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:From recognizing the power of our inner dialogue to understanding how we can shift those thoughts towards something more positive and more empowering, and we've touched on the ways that those shifts can ripple outward, influencing not just our own well-being but our interactions with the world around us. Totally Exactly. But here's where I kind of get tripped up how do we actually integrate this into our everyday lives?
Speaker 2:That's a great question.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's one thing to practice these self-affirmations during a guided meditation.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But it feels like a whole other challenge.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:To maintain that awareness when you're out in the real world.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Dealing with deadlines and you know, and difficult conversations and all those curveballs life throws at us. So, how do we do it?
Speaker 2:You've hit on a really important point. The real work begins when we step off the meditation cushion and into the business of our lives. And yeah, it can be tough to maintain that mindfulness amidst all the distractions.
Speaker 1:So how do we do it? Any practical tips?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. One thing that's helped me is setting little reminders throughout the day. Okay, you could use sticky notes, phone alarms, right, whatever works for you.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Just little prompts to pause.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And just check in with yourself.
Speaker 1:What am I telling myself right now Exactly?
Speaker 2:Is this kind?
Speaker 1:I'm telling myself right now Exactly Is this kind, is this supportive?
Speaker 2:It's like creating those mindfulness bells, oh yeah, that they use in meditation. Okay, to bring you back to the present moment, right, but this time you're bringing your awareness to your inner dialogue.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that idea.
Speaker 2:It's about creating those moments of pause.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm. So, you can catch those negative thought patterns before they kind of spiral out of control, and as you get better at recognizing them you can start to replace them.
Speaker 2:You can consciously replace them.
Speaker 1:With the empowering affirmation.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:We talked about it like having this mental toolbox.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Equipped with positive phrases, ready to pull out.
Speaker 2:Don't underestimate the power of the physical sensations too.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Pay attention to how your body feels when you're engaging in that negative self-talk.
Speaker 1:Like where do you feel the tension?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Is your chest tight? Are your shoulders hunched? Okay, now notice how your body feels when you repeat those positive affirmations.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Do you notice a sense of expansion in your chest, a softening around your shoulders?
Speaker 1:It's like our bodies are constantly giving us feedback.
Speaker 2:They are.
Speaker 1:Even when we don't realize it, and the more we tune into those physical cues.
Speaker 2:The more quickly you'll be able to recognize when you're slipping into those negative thought patterns.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And that's when you can really make a choice Right To shift gears, and that's when you can really make a choice to shift gears.
Speaker 1:It's like we're training our minds and our bodies to work together to create this positive, aligned experience, and remember it's a practice.
Speaker 2:It's not about never having a negative thought again. It's about cultivating that greater self-awareness and self-compassion, Recognizing that we're all works in progress and even small shifts in our language can create a ripple effect.
Speaker 1:Impacting not just our own well-being, but the well-being of those around us Exactly this deep dive has been so illuminating. What I'm glad We've explored this profound connection between our thoughts, our emotions.
Speaker 2:The physical sensations.
Speaker 1:We've uncovered the transformative power of positive self-talk.
Speaker 2:Absolutely and we've learned some practical techniques for cultivating that self-awareness in our daily lives, and it all comes back to one fundamental truth. Okay, you have the power to shape your reality with the words you choose.
Speaker 1:So powerful. As we wrap up, I want to leave our listeners with one final thought.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:To ponder what if you started paying attention to the words you use, not just in your inner dialogue, but also in your conversations with others?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Could shifting your language also shift the energy you bring to those interactions I love?
Speaker 2:that.
Speaker 1:Could it create a more positive, harmonious ripple effect.
Speaker 2:Absolutely In the world around you. Those are fantastic questions.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I really encourage you to explore them.
Speaker 1:Pay attention to your language, experiment with affirmations and see how it impacts your life.
Speaker 2:You might be surprised by the power of your words.
Speaker 1:Thanks for joining us on this deep dive into the fascinating world of words.
Speaker 2:It was my pleasure.
Speaker 1:Remember, you have the power to create a more positive, fulfilling reality. You do, both for yourself and for those around you. Until next time, keep exploring, keep learning, keep learning and keep choosing words that uplift and empower.
