All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
Teru Nakashima: A Pioneer in Self-Esteem Psychology
# Teru Nakashima: Leading Voice in Self-Esteem Psychology
Teru Nakashima is a prominent Japanese psychological counselor, author, and public speaker who developed "Natural Psychology," an approach to enhancing self-acceptance and transforming lives. After overcoming severe personal struggles, including a decade as a hikikomori (social recluse) and multiple suicide attempts, he independently studied psychology and therapy, developing methods that led to his own recovery and eventually helping others.
## Core Theory and Methodology
Nakashima's theory of self-acceptance centers on six fundamental elements:
- Sense of Existence: Feeling one's life has value
- Sense of Competence: Believing in one's abilities
- Sense of Belonging: Feeling accepted in society
- Sense of Security: Having a safe space
- Self-Trust: Being reliable and dependable
- Self-Esteem: Recognizing one's inherent worth
His methodology follows three key steps:
1. Self-Recognition: Acknowledging all aspects of oneself
2. Self-Acceptance: Embracing one's complete self
3. Self-Affirmation: Recognizing one's inherent value
## Impact and Work
Nakashima has authored several bestselling books, including "Three Steps to Enhance Self-Acceptance" and "How to Love Yourself." He conducts training sessions nationwide for corporations, educational institutions, and hospitals. His YouTube channel and daily newsletter provide practical guidance on self-acceptance and personal growth.
His unique contribution includes the concept of "mental brakes" - unconscious blocks formed from past trauma and negative thought patterns. He teaches that true self-acceptance isn't about forced positivity but embracing one's authentic self completely. Nakashima also introduces "fudoshin" (immovable mind) as the ultimate state of self-acceptance - maintaining inner stability regardless of external circumstances.
His work particularly resonates in Japanese society, where issues of self-worth and social pressure are prevalent. Through seminars, books, digital content, and counseling sessions, Nakashima continues to provide hope and practical guidance to those struggling with self-acceptance, while his principles are increasingly applied in organizational development to improve workplace relationships and employee well-being.
All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
The Compass of Self-Trust
Unlocking the hidden power of self-trust can significantly transform your approach to life's challenges and enhance your overall happiness. In our latest episode, we journey through the intricate landscape of self-trust, exploring its multifaceted role in shaping our decisions and relationships. Drawing from vibrant stories of individuals like Sarah, who faced sudden career changes, and Mark, learning to rebuild after betrayal, we uncover the importance of self-trust as an essential navigational tool during tumultuous times.
Listeners will discover how self-trust acts as our internal GPS, guiding us through life's complexities, and learn effective strategies to cultivate and strengthen this vital trait. Techniques such as keeping small promises to oneself and engaging in gratitude practices serve to rebuild our well of self-trust, countering the negative effects of self-doubt, especially in a culture defined by the relentless chase for visible success.
Join us as we unpack the various layers of self-trust, illustrating the downward spirals it can create when we falter, and conversely, the upward momentum fueled by confidence. Our discussion invites you to reflect on personal stories and encourages you to share your experiences with self-trust. It's more than just believing in oneself; it's about recognizing the strength inherent in vulnerability and understanding the unconditional worth we all possess.
Tune in now and let your inner lighthouse shine brightly, guiding you through both calm and stormy waters of life. Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to keep the conversation going!
Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
The Hidden Power of Self-Trust Finding your Inner Compass. Hello everyone, this is Teru Nakashima, and welcome to today's exploration of one of life's most powerful forces self-trust. I'm your host, and today we're diving deep into how this fundamental aspect of self-esteem shapes our decisions, relationships and, ultimately, our happiness. The Invisible Anchor in the Storm. Imagine you're sailing across the Pacific Ocean. The weather forecast predicted clear skies, but suddenly dark clouds gather, the gentle waves transform into towering monsters and your small boat is tossed around like a toy in a bathtub. In that moment, what keeps you from complete despair? It's not just your life vest or emergency beacon. It's your trust in your own abilities, your knowledge of navigation and your belief that you can weather the storm. Self-trust is exactly like that invisible anchor it's not something you can touch, but when it's strong, it keeps you steady, even when everything around you seems to be falling apart. Take the story of Sarah, a marketing executive from Chicago. After dedicating 12 years to building her career at a prestigious firm, she was unexpectedly laid off during a company restructuring. The timing couldn't have been worse. She had just signed a mortgage for her first home and was supporting her elderly mother's medical expenses. I remember sitting in my car in the parking lot after clearing out my desk. Sarah recalls I felt like I was free-falling without a parachute. But there was this small voice inside me saying You've overcome challenges before you have skills. You will find a way. That voice, that self-trust, speaking when the lights go out, recognizing the loss of self-trust.
Speaker 1:Just as Dr Nakashima mentioned, there are moments when our self-trust suddenly dims, like when we're exhausted after intense focus, when we interpret events too negatively or when our emotions feel unmanageable. Think about how people react during power outages in New York City. When the lights first go out, there's often a moment of collective calm. People help each other, share flashlights, check on neighbors. But as hours stretch on, anxiety builds. Some people become irritable, suspicious or even hostile. Our internal power outages work similarly. When our self-trust flickers out, even temporarily, our emotional landscape changes dramatically. Tasks that once seemed manageable now look impossible. People we normally trust suddenly seem to have hidden agendas. The future, which once held promise, now seems filled with potential disasters. Once held promise now seems filled with potential disasters. Mike, a software developer from Boston, describes it this way it's like my internal operating system crashes Suddenly. I can't access the part of me that knows how to solve problems. Instead, I'm running on this backup system that only knows how to panic or shut down the American Success Paradox.
Speaker 1:Americans have a particularly interesting relationship with self-trust. On one hand, american culture celebrates self-reliance, individualism and the pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps mentality. On the other hand, americans face immense social pressure to achieve visible success, accumulate wealth and project confidence at all times. This creates what I call the American success paradox, where people feel they must simultaneously trust themselves completely while also constantly comparing themselves to others and questioning if they're successful enough. Consider James, a talented architect from Austin. Despite designing award-winning buildings, he constantly doubted his abilities. I'd be in meetings with clients presenting designs I knew were innovative and solid, but inside I was waiting for someone to stand up and expose me as a fraud, he says. This phenomenon, known as imposter syndrome, affects up to 70% of Americans at some point in their lives. It's essentially a crisis of self-trust, where external validation can't fill the internal void of self-doubt.
Speaker 1:Self-trust as your internal GPS. I like to think of self-trust as your internal GPS system. When it's working properly, it helps you navigate life's complex terrain. It tells you when to turn, when to recalculate and when you've arrived at your destination. But what happens when your GPS loses signal? You might feel lost, take wrong turns or follow directions from others that lead you further from where you want to go.
Speaker 1:Tina, an elementary school teacher from Denver, spent years trying to please her parents by pursuing a career in law, despite her passion for education. I was miserable in law school, but I didn't trust my own feelings, she explains. I thought my parents knew better than I did about what would make me happy. It wasn't until Tina developed stronger self-trust that she could honor her own desires and switch paths stronger self-trust that she could honor her own desires and switch paths. When I finally trusted myself enough to become a teacher, it was like the world went from black and white to color. I wasn't just following someone else's map anymore, I was creating my own the self-trust bank account.
Speaker 1:Another useful metaphor is thinking of self-trust as a bank account. Each time you make a promise to yourself and keep it, you make a deposit. Each time you break a promise to yourself, you make a withdrawal. Many Americans find themselves in self-trust debt. They've made so many withdrawals through self-criticism, abandoned goals and ignored intuitions that their account is overdrawn.
Speaker 1:Take Ryan, a fitness instructor from Miami. He struggled with yo-yo dieting for years, starting new regimens with enthusiasm, only to abandon them weeks later. Each failed diet wasn't just about the weight, he explains. It was another broken promise to myself, another reason not to believe in my own word. Ryan rebuilt his self-trust through tiny, consistent commitments. I started with promising myself I'd drink one glass of water each morning. That's it. When I kept that promise, for two weeks straight, I added another small promise. Over time, those small deposits grew into a healthy self-trust balance the echo chamber effect. To a healthy self-trust balance the echo chamber effect.
Speaker 1:When our self-trust is low, we become vulnerable to what I call the echo chamber effect. Just as social media algorithms surround us with opinions that match our existing beliefs, our minds create echo chambers that amplify our self-doubt. One negative thought I'm not good enough bounces around our mental space, creating louder and louder echoes until it drowns out more balanced perspectives. Jessica, a writer from Seattle, describes it vividly when my self-trust is low, it's like I'm trapped in a hall of funhouse mirrors. Each reflection shows a more distorted version of reality than the last. A small criticism from my editor transforms into my writing is terrible, which quickly becomes I'm a failure at everything. Breaking out of this echo chamber requires conscious effort opening windows to let in fresh perspectives, turning down the volume on self-criticism and tuning into the frequency of self-compassion, instead Rebuilding trust after betrayal.
Speaker 1:Perhaps the most challenging aspect of self-trust is rebuilding it after we've betrayed ourselves in significant ways. Mark, a recovering alcoholic from Philadelphia, speaks to this journey. For 20 years I broke promises to myself daily. Just one drink would become a three-day bender. I'd swear never again, only to repeat the same pattern the following week. How do you start trusting yourself when you have that kind of track record? The answer lies in understanding that self-trust is not rebuilt through grand gestures, but through consistent, modest actions. For Mark, it began with daily check-ins with his sponsor and keeping simple promises Attending meetings, staying sober for just that day and being honest about his struggles. Think of it like rebuilding a house that's been destroyed. Marx suggests you don't start by trying to put the roof back on. You lay one brick at a time, beginning with the foundation the Gratitude Practice, a Self-trust accelerator.
Speaker 1:As Dr Nakashima wisely points out, gratitude is a powerful force for rebuilding self-trust. When we practice gratitude, we shift our focus from what's missing to what's present, from what's wrong to what's right. This shift is particularly important in American culture, where there's often emphasis on constant improvement, achievement and acquisition. The message you're not enough yet permeates advertising, social media and workplace dynamics. Gratitude directly counters this narrative. It says what I have is enough. Who I am is enough. My life as it stands right now has value and meaning. Amanda, a single mother from Atlanta, created a simple ritual with her children Every night at dinner. We each share three things. We're grateful for Some days, especially after a tough shift at the hospital, I struggle to find something. But the practice itself, the searching for good things, has changed how I see my life. This simple practice has helped Amanda maintain her self-trust through divorce, career changes and health challenges. When I consistently acknowledge what's going right, I trust myself to handle what's going wrong.
Speaker 1:The self-trust spiral up or down. Self-trust creates what psychologists call virtuous or vicious cycles, spirals that either move upward or downward with increasing momentum. When your self-trust is strong, you take more risks, which leads to more growth experiences. These experiences, whether successes or educational failures, increase your competence and confidence, which further strengthens your self-trust. This is the upward spiral. Conversely, when self-trust is weak, you avoid challenges, which limits your growth. This reinforces the belief that you can't handle difficult situations, further weakening your self-trust. This is the downward spiral. David, a consultant from Washington DC, recognized this pattern in his professional life. I noticed that when I trusted myself, I spoke up more in meetings and volunteered for challenging projects. This led to more visibility and success, which made me trust myself even more. The key insight is that you can intentionally initiate an upward spiral through small acts of self-trust, even when you don't feel particularly confident.
Speaker 1:Conclusion the lighthouse within. In closing, I want to offer one final metaphor. Your self-trust is like a lighthouse on the shore it doesn't prevent storms from coming and it doesn't make the journey easier. What it does is provide a consistent, reliable point of reference that helps you navigate safely through whatever conditions you encounter. Sometimes the light dims, sometimes fog obscures it temporarily, but with proper maintenance and care, it remains steadfast, a beacon guiding you home to yourself as you go forward. From this conversation, remember that building self-trust isn't about never falling. It's about trusting that you'll know how to rise again when you do. It's not about having all the answers. It's about trusting your ability to find them when needed. And it's not about being perfect. It's about being perfectly imperfect, yet worthy of your own trust nonetheless. Thank you for joining me on this exploration of self-trust. Until next time, may your inner lighthouse shine brightly, guiding you safely through both calm seas and stormy waters. Teru Nakashima.
