All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
Teru Nakashima: A Pioneer in Self-Esteem Psychology
# Teru Nakashima: Leading Voice in Self-Esteem Psychology
Teru Nakashima is a prominent Japanese psychological counselor, author, and public speaker who developed "Natural Psychology," an approach to enhancing self-acceptance and transforming lives. After overcoming severe personal struggles, including a decade as a hikikomori (social recluse) and multiple suicide attempts, he independently studied psychology and therapy, developing methods that led to his own recovery and eventually helping others.
## Core Theory and Methodology
Nakashima's theory of self-acceptance centers on six fundamental elements:
- Sense of Existence: Feeling one's life has value
- Sense of Competence: Believing in one's abilities
- Sense of Belonging: Feeling accepted in society
- Sense of Security: Having a safe space
- Self-Trust: Being reliable and dependable
- Self-Esteem: Recognizing one's inherent worth
His methodology follows three key steps:
1. Self-Recognition: Acknowledging all aspects of oneself
2. Self-Acceptance: Embracing one's complete self
3. Self-Affirmation: Recognizing one's inherent value
## Impact and Work
Nakashima has authored several bestselling books, including "Three Steps to Enhance Self-Acceptance" and "How to Love Yourself." He conducts training sessions nationwide for corporations, educational institutions, and hospitals. His YouTube channel and daily newsletter provide practical guidance on self-acceptance and personal growth.
His unique contribution includes the concept of "mental brakes" - unconscious blocks formed from past trauma and negative thought patterns. He teaches that true self-acceptance isn't about forced positivity but embracing one's authentic self completely. Nakashima also introduces "fudoshin" (immovable mind) as the ultimate state of self-acceptance - maintaining inner stability regardless of external circumstances.
His work particularly resonates in Japanese society, where issues of self-worth and social pressure are prevalent. Through seminars, books, digital content, and counseling sessions, Nakashima continues to provide hope and practical guidance to those struggling with self-acceptance, while his principles are increasingly applied in organizational development to improve workplace relationships and employee well-being.
All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
"You Are the Average of the Five People You Spend the Most Time With"
Main Theme: The significant impact of one's social circle on personal growth and well-being, encapsulated in the idea that "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." This influence extends to all aspects of life, affecting mindset, perspective, and overall vitality. Nakashima uses the metaphor of a "forest" to represent this social ecosystem and encourages readers to cultivate a diverse and supportive environment for personal flourishing.
Key Ideas and Supporting Details:
- The Core Principle: Nakashima asserts that the people we spend the most time with profoundly shape us. This is not just a saying but a proven phenomenon: "This is not merely a saying. It is a phenomenon I have witnessed repeatedly throughout my twenty years working with thousands of individuals seeking to transform their lives." The core concept is that we unconsciously absorb the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors of those around us, ultimately influencing our own trajectory.
- The Forest Metaphor: Nakashima uses a vivid metaphor of a personal "forest" to illustrate the concept. The people in our lives are represented as different types of "trees," each contributing a unique influence (light, rain, wind, earth) to our growth: "What trees have you planted in your garden?"
- Different Types of Trees (People): Nakashima identifies four key types of "trees," each representing a specific influence or perspective:
- Trees That Face the Morning Sun: Optimistic, forward-thinking individuals who ask "Why?" and "How can this improve?" and who encourage growth and innovation. The example of the student who lost her optimism highlights how the wrong environment can dim one's light. "One of my students possessed from childhood an innate belief that 'tomorrow will surely be better.' But after entering the professional world, she found herself surrounded by voices saying, 'That's impossible' and 'Be realistic.'"
- Trees That Feel the Rain: Individuals sensitive to problems and challenges, asking "What's happening?" and "Where are the problems?" While valuable, an overabundance of these "trees" can create a negative and pessimistic atmosphere.
- Trees That Sense the Wind: Individuals attuned to social dynamics and relationships, feeling "Who am I with?" and "What currents are flowing?" These people are highly sensitive to their environment and require positive social currents to thrive. "Extremely sensitive to the forest's airflow, she couldn't display her true beauty in places with poor circulation."
- Trees That Connect with the Earth: Individuals focused on stability and grounding, valuing "What is certain?" and "What fruits will come?" An excess of this type can lead to stagnation and a lack of innovation.
- Cultivating Your Forest: Nakashima provides three "wisdoms" for nurturing one's personal "forest":
- Observe Your Forest: Become aware of the types of "trees" (people) in your life and the influence they have. "First, quietly observe what kinds of trees grow around you. What wind, light, rain, and soil do they bring you? Is your tree flourishing in this environment?"
- Sow New Seeds: Intentionally seek out relationships with people who offer different perspectives and positive influences. "Have the courage to visit forests where different types of trees grow. This doesn't mean cutting down existing trees – it means adding new varieties."
- Nurture Your Own Roots and Branches: Recognize that you are also part of other people's forests and strive to be a positive influence in their lives. "Remember that you are part of someone else's forest. As you flourish, the forest around you flourishes too."
Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
Hello everyone, this is Teru Nakashima. Welcome to today's episode of All About Self-Esteem. I want to speak with you about an invisible current that flows through our lives, one that shapes us more powerfully than we often recognize. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. This is not merely a saying. It is a phenomenon I have witnessed repeatedly throughout my 20 years working with thousands of individuals seeking to transform their lives.
Speaker 1:The Watershed of your Life Garden. Recently, in the lounge of a Tokyo hotel, I spoke with a brilliant, passionate executive who couldn't understand why his company lacked vitality, despite his best efforts. What trees have you planted in your garden? When I asked him, at first he didn't grasp my meaning, but as our conversation unfolded, he began to see the people with whom he exchanged energy daily, and then the realization dawned Almost all the trees in his garden were of the same variety, trees that face the morning sun. Some individuals stand like trees, constantly bathed in morning light. They ask why and how can this improve, extending their branches toward the future.
Speaker 1:One of my students possessed from childhood an innate belief that tomorrow will surely be better, but after entering the professional world, she found herself surrounded by voices saying. Entering the professional world she found herself surrounded by voices saying that's impossible and be realistic. Her tree began to lean gradually away from the morning sun and toward the shadows. She found her light again only after joining a community of tomorrow believers. Once she began spending time, even just monthly, with trees that also reached toward the morning light, her branches and leaves once again stretch toward the sun. Trees that feel the rain. Other trees sensitively detect the rain. They spread delicate leaves that perceive what's happening and where are the problems. One client possessed an extraordinary ability to identify organizational issues before anyone else. An extraordinary ability to identify organizational issues before anyone else. But because he was surrounded by trees that only detected problems, the entire forest gradually became shrouded in dark shadows. Change came to his forest when he began interacting with different varieties of trees, those that saw possibilities. Though he initially felt uncomfortable, after six months a new atmosphere began to flow through the entire forest.
Speaker 1:Trees that sense the wind. Still, other trees are sensitive to the flow of wind. They instinctively feel who am I with and what currents are flowing. A young assistant in my research laboratory was this type of tree Extremely sensitive to the forest airflow. She couldn't display her true beauty in places with poor circulation. She consciously chose to spend time in forests where gentle winds flowed. Remarkably, her own leaves regained their vivid green and she became able to carry her seeds far and wide on the breeze. Trees that connect with the earth. Finally, there are trees that value their connection to the ground. They extend their roots into what is certain and what fruits will come. An editor at a publishing house was precisely this type of tree. His eyes were constantly fixed on soil quality, missing not even a grain of sand. But because he was surrounded by similar trees, the entire forest focused solely on roots, nearly forgetting to extend branches skyward. What brought change to his forest was interaction with entirely different types of trees. Meeting trees grown in different soils broadened his perspective and yielded richer fruits.
Speaker 1:Three Wisdoms for Nurturing your Forest. So how can you nurture your own forest? Let me share three wisdoms I've learned from years of observation. Observe your forest First, quietly observe what kinds of trees grow around you. What wind, light, rain and soil do they bring you? Is your tree flourishing in this environment? Sow new seeds. Have the courage to visit forests where different types of trees grow. This doesn't mean cutting down existing trees. It means adding new varieties. Nurture your own roots and branches. Remember that you are part of someone else's forest. As you flourish, the forest around you flourishes too.
Speaker 1:Recently, at what we call the Forest Festival, for graduates of our Self-Esteem Academy, I asked how has your forest changed? Many replied it's an entirely different ecosystem now and, fascinatingly, the landscape of their lives had transformed dramatically as well. Like plants, we all absorb nutrients from our surroundings. The energy you exchange daily influences everything from your roots to your branch tips. Strong roots come from rich soil, straight trunks from proper light, spreading branches from quality air and beautiful flowers and fruitful harvest from the harmony of all these elements. As you continue on your journey today, become conscious of your forest, gradually create an environment that supports your growth. May your forest be filled with diverse and abundant vitality. Thank you for listening to this episode of All About Self-Esteem. This is Teru Nakashima, with gratitude.
