All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan

Words Weaving Your Future Story: The Power of Affirmative Language

• Teru Nakashima

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FAQ: Cultivating Your Future with the Power of Words

  • What is the central idea behind "Cultivating Your Future: The Power of Words"?
  • The central idea is that the words we use, both internally and externally, act as seeds that grow into our reality. Negative words cultivate negativity and self-doubt, while positive words foster confidence, hope, and self-worth. By consciously choosing positive language, we can cultivate a more positive and fulfilling life.
  • What are the "6 senses" mentioned, and how do they relate to personal growth?
  • The "6 senses" are likened to the parts of a tree and are components of self-affirmation. These are:
  • Self-esteem): The root, representing the inherent worth we feel simply for existing.
  • Self-acceptance: The trunk, representing the acceptance of our weaknesses and imperfections.
  • Self-efficacy : The branches, representing the belief in our ability to accomplish tasks and goals.
  • Self-trust : The leaves, representing the oxygen that helps the tree grow, the confidence that we can rely on ourselves.
  • Self-determination : The flowers, representing the freedom to make our own choices.
  • Self-worth : The fruit, representing the joy of being useful to others. These elements are nourished by positive self-talk.
  • What is "reframing," and how can it help improve my mindset?
  • Reframing is the act of changing the way you think about something by changing the words you use to describe it. For example, reframing "I failed" to "I learned something" shifts the focus from negativity to growth. This can reduce stress, increase feelings of happiness, and foster a more positive outlook on challenges.
  • Can you provide some practical examples of how to reframe negative thoughts into positive ones?
  • Here are some examples from the text:
  • "I'm a failure" becomes "I'm currently in the process of growing."
  • "I'm exhausted" becomes "My mind and body need a sign of rest."
  • "No one understands me" becomes "I will try to find new ways to share my feelings."
  • What is the "morning words ritual" and why is it important?
  • The morning words ritual involves starting the day by stating positive affirmations aloud, such as "Today will be a wonderful day." This practice helps train the brain to perceive these statements as reality, setting a positive tone for the day.
  • Why is expressing gratitude important for cultivating a positive future?
  • Incorporating "thank you" into our daily interactions and thoughts, even in difficult situations, nourishes our inner "tree." Expressing gratitude shifts our focus to what we have and what we can learn, even amidst challenges, fostering resilience and positivity.
  • How can I shift my focus from what I "can't do" to what I "can do"?
  • Instead of dwelling on limitations, focus on what you are actively working towards. For example, change "I can't speak English" to "I am gradually learning English." Shift focus from problems to solutions.
  • How can I rewrite my past with positive language?
  • While we cannot change past events, we can change the way we talk about them to ourselves. Instead of saying "That choice was a mistake," reframe it as "That experience has made me who I am today." This helps to integrate past experiences as valuable lessons rather than sources of regret.

Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem

Speaker 1:

Hey everyone and welcome back for another deep dive with us.

Speaker 2:

Glad to be here.

Speaker 1:

Today we're going to be getting into some really fascinating stuff about the power of words and how they can really impact our lives, and we're going to be looking at excerpts from Cultivating your Future the Power of Words by Teru Nakashima, who is like a self-affirmation expert who is like a self-affirmation expert and he's got some pretty cool ideas about how we can use language to really cultivate a more positive and fulfilling life. So if you're into self-improvement and personal growth, you're really going to want to pay attention.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. This is going to be good.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because we're going to be pulling out some seriously actionable insights.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, what I find really fascinating about Nakashima's work is how he takes like these kind of complex ideas.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

And breaks them down into these really digestible metaphors and analogies. Like he doesn't just tell you to, like you know, think positive. He actually gives you like a framework for understanding why that's important. Yeah, and how to actually do it.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I'm intrigued, so tell me more about this framework. Like what's he talking about?

Speaker 2:

So one of the most powerful metaphors he uses is this idea of like words as seeds.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And he suggests that the words we use, both spoken and unspoken, are like seeds that we're planting in the garden of our minds.

Speaker 1:

So like if we're constantly, like you know, beating ourselves up with negative self-talk.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

We're basically just cultivating like a garden full of weeds.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. It's like every negative thought is like a weed that takes root.

Speaker 1:

Oh, wow.

Speaker 2:

And starts to choke out the positive thoughts that could be slurishing there instead.

Speaker 1:

And then that can like become a self-fulfilling prophecy, right, oh?

Speaker 2:

yeah, absolutely. It can lead to those feelings of like inadequacy, limiting beliefs, and it ultimately hinders our growth.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2:

But the good news is, the opposite is also true.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

When we choose to plant those positive words and cultivate that encouraging self-talk, we create this fertile ground for confidence and hope and personal growth.

Speaker 1:

I'm starting to get like I'm seeing the potential here, but it also feels like a lot of responsibility, like if our words are that powerful, how do we make sure that we're planting the right seeds?

Speaker 2:

That's where Nakashima introduces this really cool concept of the six senses tree.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And it acts as a guide for cultivating different aspects of self-affirmation.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

He compares like these six key senses self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-efficacies, self-confidence, self-determination.

Speaker 1:

Wow, so a lot of selves.

Speaker 2:

It is right.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And self-worth to different parts of a tree.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I am picturing a tree right now.

Speaker 2:

Good.

Speaker 1:

So let's break down this analogy. Sure, what part of the tree is like self-esteem?

Speaker 2:

Well, the roots, of course.

Speaker 1:

Makes sense.

Speaker 2:

Right. Self-esteem is the foundation. Yeah, it's that feeling of being worthy of existence.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And Nakashima says that without strong roots, the whole tree is unstable. Right, you know, think about it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's hard to build anything substantial on top of that.

Speaker 1:

Okay, that makes sense.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

So then, what about the trunk?

Speaker 2:

The trunk symbolizes self-acceptance. It's about embracing all parts of ourselves flaws and all recognizing that you know those imperfections actually contribute to our uniqueness.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

We're not aiming for some unattainable ideal of perfection.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

But rather accepting ourselves as we are, with all our quirks and complexities.

Speaker 1:

It's about allowing ourselves to be human.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

Not getting caught up in this constant pursuit of being perfect, exactly.

Speaker 2:

And then branching out from the trunk, we have self-efficacy. Oh, okay. And this represents our belief in our abilities to achieve goals and navigate challenges.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Strong branches allow us to reach out in new directions, to explore new possibilities, without being held back by self-doubt.

Speaker 1:

So self-efficacy is all about feeling capable.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

Like confident in our ability to handle whatever life throws our way.

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker 1:

I like that. What about the leaves? What do they symbolize?

Speaker 2:

The leaves are an interesting one. They represent self-confidence.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

The outward expression of our inner belief in ourselves. Think of it this way Self-confidence allows us to breathe in the energy of self-belief and thrive. Oh okay, just as leaves are vital for a tree to absorb sunlight and grow, self-confidence is crucial for us to embrace challenges and achieve our full potential.

Speaker 1:

So without self-confidence, we're basically stifling our own growth.

Speaker 2:

You got it.

Speaker 1:

Like we're not allowing ourselves to blossom.

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker 1:

And then moving on, we have the flowers. What do they represent?

Speaker 2:

The flowers are self-determination. Okay, they represent the beauty of choice and agency. It's recognizing that we have the power to make decisions and shape our own destiny, rather than feeling like we're at the mercy of external forces.

Speaker 1:

That reminds me of that quote the only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.

Speaker 2:

I love that one.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's empowering to think that we have that much control, absolutely. So what's left? The fruit.

Speaker 2:

Yes, the fruit symbolizes self-worth. Okay, it's the fulfillment that comes from contributing to something larger than ourselves.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Making a difference in the world.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's the sweet reward of a life well lived, knowing that we've made a positive impact.

Speaker 1:

This whole six senses tree analogy is really resonating with me. Yeah, but I have to ask, like, if we're cultivating this tree with our words, what does that actually look like in practice?

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

How do we make sure we're nurturing it properly?

Speaker 2:

That's where Nakashima's concept of reframing comes in.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

It's about consciously shifting the perspective, like embedded in the language we use. You know, imagine changing the frame around a picture.

Speaker 1:

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2:

You're not altering the image itself.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

But you're highlighting different aspects, you're bringing certain elements into focus.

Speaker 1:

So, instead of seeing a setback as a failure, we can reframe it as a learning opportunity.

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker 1:

Like we're not denying the challenge, but we're choosing to see the potential for growth.

Speaker 2:

Precisely, and Nakashima gives some really practical examples of this reframing in action, like, for instance instead of saying I'm worthless, which can be a really common negative thought pattern, we can reframe it as I'm on a journey of growth and I. And I'm learning every step of the way.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's a subtle shift in language.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But it can have a profound impact on our self-perception.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's like we're rewriting the script.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

Changing the narrative from one of self-defeat to one of resilience and progress.

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker 1:

I'm curious though is there like any scientific evidence to support this idea that reframing actually works?

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. There's been research done at Stanford University. Oh wow, that shows that reframing negative thoughts can actually reduce activity in the amygdala.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Which is the part of the brain that's associated with, like fear and stress.

Speaker 1:

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2:

So when we shift our perspective to a more positive one, yeah. Our brain actually responds by releasing endorphins and dopamine, which have those mood boosting and pain relieving effects.

Speaker 1:

So it's not just about feeling better temporarily. It's actually changing the way our brains function over time. Exactly. That's pretty incredible.

Speaker 2:

It is. And what's even more encouraging is that Nakashima doesn't just leave us with these concepts. He actually offers four very practical tips, okay, for how we can actively cultivate our own positive word garden.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I am all ears. Give me the tools. What's the first tip?

Speaker 2:

He calls the first one the morning affirmation ritual.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And this is all about starting the day with intention.

Speaker 1:

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2:

Setting a positive tone for the hours ahead. Right Nakashima suggests taking a few moments each morning to recite affirmations.

Speaker 1:

Affirmations like those I am strong, I am capable kind of statements.

Speaker 2:

Exactly Okay, it might feel a bit strange at first.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But with consistency. Our brains begin to internalize these causative messages Right and they start to shape our thoughts and behaviors throughout the day.

Speaker 1:

So it's like we're priming our minds for a more positive and productive day.

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker 1:

What's the next step?

Speaker 2:

The next one is cultivating a gratitude practice. Okay, it's about making a conscious effort to appreciate the good things in our lives, even the small ones. So often we get caught up in the daily grind.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

And we forget to acknowledge the simple joys.

Speaker 1:

I am definitely guilty of that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I get so focused on what's not going right that I forget to appreciate all the things that are.

Speaker 2:

It happens to the best of us.

Speaker 1:

So how does Nakashima suggest we practice gratitude?

Speaker 2:

He suggests infusing thank you into our everyday experiences. Okay, so instead of just rushing through our day on autopilot, we can pause and genuinely express gratitude for things like a delicious meal or a helpful coworker, or even just the opportunity to learn and grow.

Speaker 1:

I love that. It's like a little reminder throughout the day to focus on the good. Yes, what's the third tip?

Speaker 2:

Tip number three is all about shifting from can't to can. Okay. It's about challenging those negative self-talk patterns that hold us back.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Instead of focusing on our limitations. Yeah, nakashima encourages us to focus on what is possible.

Speaker 1:

So, instead of saying I can't learn a new language, I could reframe it as I'm learning Spanish and I'm getting better every day.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. It's about shifting our mindset from one of scarcity to one of abundance, from limitation to possibility. What's the difference between saying I can't afford to travel versus I'm saving up for a trip to Italy? Oh, I see A subtle shift in language Right, but it can have a big impact on our motivation and our actions.

Speaker 1:

It's like we're training our brains to look for solutions instead of dwelling on problems. Exactly, I like that. What's the final tip?

Speaker 2:

The final tip is one of the most powerful. Okay, he calls it rewriting past narratives. We often carry around stories about our past. Right, that are we often carry around stories about our past that are based on negative interpretations or limiting beliefs.

Speaker 1:

So if I have a memory of a time I failed a test in school, I might still tell myself I'm not smart enough, even though that was years ago.

Speaker 2:

That's right. But with reframing we can choose to see that past event from a different perspective. Okay, we can acknowledge the disappointment but also recognize the lessons learned Right and the resilience we developed as a result.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's not about erasing the past.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

But about changing the way we view it.

Speaker 1:

Uh-huh.

Speaker 2:

And how it impacts our present.

Speaker 1:

That's really powerful. It's like we're giving ourselves permission to let go of the old story and write a new one that's more empowering and supportive of our current goals, you and write a new one that's more empowering and supportive of our current goals Exactly, you know all this talk about reframing reminds me of a time when I was working on this big project.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I hit a major wall.

Speaker 2:

I can relate to that. We all hit those walls sometimes.

Speaker 1:

Well, I, was feeling incredibly overwhelmed.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I was starting to tell myself I can't do this, this is too much.

Speaker 2:

I was not ready to give up.

Speaker 1:

But then I remembered Nakashima's advice about reframing. So instead of focusing on the enormity of the task, I broke it down into smaller, more manageable steps, and I started telling myself I can handle this one step at a time.

Speaker 2:

And how did that work for you?

Speaker 1:

It's amazing how such a simple shift in perspective can change everything as soon as I started focusing on what I could do instead of what I couldn't.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

The project felt much less daunting, I was able to make progress and eventually I completed it successfully.

Speaker 2:

That's great.

Speaker 1:

It was a great reminder that our words really do have the power to shape our reality.

Speaker 2:

That's a fantastic example of the power of reframing an action.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's a reminder that we have more control over our thoughts and our reality than we often realize.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. It all comes back to that idea of being the authors of our own stories.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

We get to choose the words we use to write those stories.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and like the words we choose, they can either build us up or tear us down. They can create a story of, like you know, limitation and fear, or a story of growth and resilience and possibility.

Speaker 1:

That's such a good point. We're not just passive bystanders in our own life.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

We actually have the power to choose the words that will shape our thoughts, our emotions and, ultimately, our reality. It's empowering to think that we can actually like rewrite our stories. It is. Even if we've been stuck in a negative loop for a while.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that's the beauty of it yeah it's never too late to start changing the way we talk to ourselves and about ourselves okay and you know, cultivating your word garden. It's an ongoing process, right? It's not about achieving some like perfect state of positivity all the time yeah but rather about developing that conscious awareness of the language we use.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And making intentional choices that support our well-being.

Speaker 1:

So it's a journey, not a destination.

Speaker 2:

Exactly. And as we wrap up this deep dive into the power of words, Okay. I want to leave you with one final thought from Nakashima that I find incredibly encouraging. Okay, he writes even on the darkest night. Remember tomorrow, a new morning will come.

Speaker 1:

That's beautiful.

Speaker 2:

It is.

Speaker 1:

It's a reminder that, even when things feel challenging or overwhelming, there's always hope.

Speaker 2:

There is.

Speaker 1:

Like there's always a chance to start fresh.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

To choose our words more wisely and to continue cultivating our own personal growth.

Speaker 2:

I hope this exploration of Nakashima's work has given you some valuable insights, yeah, and practical tools to take with you on your own self-affirmation journey.

Speaker 1:

Me too, and if you're interested in diving deeper into these concepts, we highly recommend checking out his full book Absolutely Cultivating your Future the Power of Words. I recommend checking out his full book Absolutely Cultivating your Future the Power of Words. It's full of wisdom and actionable advice that can help you create a more positive and fulfilling life.

Speaker 2:

And be sure to join us next time for another deep dive. Yes, as we explore a completely different topic. Okay, we'll be taking a closer look at the fascinating world of briefly teased next episode's content, without revealing specifics.

Speaker 1:

So stay tuned for more thought-provoking discussions.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

And remember the power to shape your future lies within the words you choose.

Speaker 2:

Thanks for joining us.

Speaker 1:

Until next time.

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