All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
Teru Nakashima: A Pioneer in Self-Esteem Psychology
# Teru Nakashima: Leading Voice in Self-Esteem Psychology
Teru Nakashima is a prominent Japanese psychological counselor, author, and public speaker who developed "Natural Psychology," an approach to enhancing self-acceptance and transforming lives. After overcoming severe personal struggles, including a decade as a hikikomori (social recluse) and multiple suicide attempts, he independently studied psychology and therapy, developing methods that led to his own recovery and eventually helping others.
## Core Theory and Methodology
Nakashima's theory of self-acceptance centers on six fundamental elements:
- Sense of Existence: Feeling one's life has value
- Sense of Competence: Believing in one's abilities
- Sense of Belonging: Feeling accepted in society
- Sense of Security: Having a safe space
- Self-Trust: Being reliable and dependable
- Self-Esteem: Recognizing one's inherent worth
His methodology follows three key steps:
1. Self-Recognition: Acknowledging all aspects of oneself
2. Self-Acceptance: Embracing one's complete self
3. Self-Affirmation: Recognizing one's inherent value
## Impact and Work
Nakashima has authored several bestselling books, including "Three Steps to Enhance Self-Acceptance" and "How to Love Yourself." He conducts training sessions nationwide for corporations, educational institutions, and hospitals. His YouTube channel and daily newsletter provide practical guidance on self-acceptance and personal growth.
His unique contribution includes the concept of "mental brakes" - unconscious blocks formed from past trauma and negative thought patterns. He teaches that true self-acceptance isn't about forced positivity but embracing one's authentic self completely. Nakashima also introduces "fudoshin" (immovable mind) as the ultimate state of self-acceptance - maintaining inner stability regardless of external circumstances.
His work particularly resonates in Japanese society, where issues of self-worth and social pressure are prevalent. Through seminars, books, digital content, and counseling sessions, Nakashima continues to provide hope and practical guidance to those struggling with self-acceptance, while his principles are increasingly applied in organizational development to improve workplace relationships and employee well-being.
All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
The Power of Words: Transforming Self-Talk
Are you aware of the powerful impact your self-talk has on your life? This episode dives deep into the world of language and its transformative potential. We explore how specific phrases can boost confidence and alter perceptions, drawing from a captivating Japanese podcast that sheds light on "kuchigus"—the mouth habits we all unknowingly adopt.
By becoming more mindful of our inner dialogue, we can create a supportive environment to nurture greater self-belief. The conversation highlights compelling anecdotes demonstrating how simple shifts in language changed lives. We discuss the science that backs up the practice of positive self-talk, revealing how it influences our brain's activity to reshape emotional responses and enhance our decision-making capabilities.
Expect to learn practical strategies to replace negative phrases with empowering alternatives and witness the ripple effect this can have in daily life. Share in the insights of embracing gratitude as a powerful tool to counter self-doubt and foster a happier existence. Join us as we unravel the importance of community support on our journeys. This episode invites you to recognize the significance of your words and encourages you to embrace a more conscious approach to self-talk. What changes will you make today? Tune in, and let's embark on this enlightening journey together!
Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
All right. So today we are going deep into self-talk.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But specifically we're looking at how the words we use can actually impact how confident we are.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:We found this really interesting Japanese self-help podcast episode.
Speaker 2:Oh cool.
Speaker 1:That goes into this idea of linguistic programming. But for your own mind, it's not just about thinking positive, it's about the specific words and phrases we use regularly.
Speaker 2:You know what's really fascinating about this? This isn't just some feel-good concept Right, there's actual science behind this. Research that shows language can directly impact our self-belief.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we're not just talking about, like, the power of positive thinking.
Speaker 2:No, not at all.
Speaker 1:We're talking about specific words and phrases we use every day and how they can shape our reality.
Speaker 2:Exactly, think about it, those everyday conversations.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Even just the things that you mumble to yourself. Yeah, those are like little messages to your brain. Okay, and those messages can actually change your mindset.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And even how other people see you. Oh interesting.
Speaker 1:So I'm guessing this Japanese podcast episode had some insights on this.
Speaker 2:It did. They had this concept called kuchigus. Kuchigus, which literally means mouth habits.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:It's like. It perfectly captures this idea of those phrases that we use all the time, often without even realizing it.
Speaker 1:Kuchigus. I like that. It's like having a verbal tick, but for your thoughts. So what kind of impact do these mouth habits really have? Can changing just a few words really make a difference?
Speaker 2:So the podcast host shared a story about a seminar participant who was constantly using negative phrases. Oh, yeah. And they challenged this person to swap them out for more empowering language for just two weeks, and the result was people started responding to them differently.
Speaker 1:Wow, they treated them with more respect. Interesting.
Speaker 2:And it all stemmed from changing their language.
Speaker 1:Two weeks. That's amazing. It is what specifically changed for this person. Did their behavior actually shift, or was it more about how other people perceived them?
Speaker 2:It seems like it was a bit of both. By using more positive language, the participants started to project more confidence, and that influenced how others responded to them. Gotcha, it's like you know, a self-fulfilling prophecy Makes sense, yeah.
Speaker 1:So what other fascinating nuggets did you unearth from this podcast?
Speaker 2:Well, this is where things get really interesting. They talked about the power of simply saying I know.
Speaker 1:Hold on, Just I know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:How can two little words be that powerful?
Speaker 2:It all comes down to acknowledging your emotions. When you say I know you're bringing those feelings into your conscious control, which reduces that sense of uncertainty that often fuels anxiety.
Speaker 1:So it's like taking charge of your emotions instead of letting them take over.
Speaker 2:Precisely Okay, and the podcast had this great anecdote about a five-year-old boy who was terrified of getting an injection.
Speaker 1:Oh, I can only imagine Kids can get really worked up about shots.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So the host kept reassuring the boy by saying I know it's scary, but I know you're brave. And by acknowledging his fear but also his strength, the boy eventually calmed down. Wow, he even said it didn't hurt as much as I thought.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's such a powerful example of how those two little words I know can really help to shift someone's entire experience. I'm really starting to see how impactful these seemingly small phrases can be. Yeah, I'm really starting to see how impactful these seemingly small phrases can be. Is there a specific formula for creating these positive?
Speaker 2:coochie goose. It's less about a set formula and more about just finding what works for you.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:But the podcast host did share three what they call magic words that they recommend for boosting self-efficacy.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Which is basically the belief in your ability to succeed.
Speaker 1:Fagic words. I have to admit I'm intrigued, but also a little skeptical.
Speaker 2:I know they are. I can do it. Everything will go well today, and I can, I can, I can.
Speaker 1:I can see how those might be helpful, but I have to say they sound a little cheesy.
Speaker 2:They do.
Speaker 1:Does repeating these phrases really have a tangible effect?
Speaker 2:It might feel silly at first.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But there's actual research behind this. Studies have shown that repeating positive statements, even if you don't fully believe them, at first Right Can actually change the neural pathways in your brain. Really, yeah, it's like training your brain to think and act in a more positive way.
Speaker 1:So it's about creating new habits at a neurological level.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:That's pretty amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But how exactly does that work? Are there like specific areas of the brain that become more active when we use positive self-talk?
Speaker 2:Research suggests that positive self-talk can increase activity in the prefrontal cortex.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Which is the part of the brain that's responsible for decision-making and emotional regulation. It also appears to decrease activity in the amygdala, which is the brain's fear center.
Speaker 1:So positive self-talk helps us regulate our emotions and become less reactive to stress.
Speaker 2:That's the idea.
Speaker 1:That makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But we've been talking a lot about self-efficacy, which is like the belief in our ability to achieve things Right. How does all this tie back to self-confidence?
Speaker 2:That's a great question and that's where the podcast host's tree analogy comes in.
Speaker 1:A tree analogy.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm definitely intrigued. Lay it on me.
Speaker 2:So they described our coochie goose particularly those magic words as the branches that support the growth of self-efficacy.
Speaker 1:So stronger branches lead to a stronger belief in ourselves.
Speaker 2:Yes, and as our self-efficacy grows, it leads to the leaves of self-confidence.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And eventually blossoms into the flowers of self-determination.
Speaker 1:I love that imagery All connected. Okay. So if we start using these positive kuchigus, we're essentially nurturing a more confident version of ourselves.
Speaker 2:Exactly. You're creating a positive internal environment for growth, and a crucial part of that is self-compassion.
Speaker 1:Which is treating ourselves with the same kindness we'd offer a friend. I can see how beating ourselves up with negative self-talk would weaken those branches and prevent growth. So what do you think? Are you starting to see how changing your self-talk could actually make a tangible difference in your life?
Speaker 2:I think so.
Speaker 1:I have to say I was pretty skeptical at first.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But now I'm really starting to see the potential here. It's not just about feeling good, it's about creating real change.
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 1:But let's be realistic. There are always going to be days when those negative thoughts creep in.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure.
Speaker 1:No matter how hard we try to be positive. Yeah, what happens then? How do we deal with those inevitable negative thoughts? Yeah, what happens then? How do we deal?
Speaker 2:with those inevitable negative thoughts. That's where self-compassion comes in. Okay, instead of beating yourself up for having a negative thought.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Just try to acknowledge it. Okay, and then gently guide your thinking towards something more positive.
Speaker 1:So it's like being your own best friend. Yes, you wouldn't berate a friend for feeling down. You'd offer them support.
Speaker 2:Exactly, you'd remind them of their strengths. Yeah, encourage them to focus on the positive. Do the same for yourself.
Speaker 1:That's such a good point. We're often way harder on ourselves than we would ever be on anyone else.
Speaker 2:It's true.
Speaker 1:So if we can master this whole self-talk thing, what kind of impact can it really have on our lives? Well, besides just feeling better about ourselves, are there any like proven benefits?
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely. The research on this is pretty compelling. Ok, positive self talk has been linked to a whole host of benefits.
Speaker 1:Like what?
Speaker 2:Reduced stress and anxiety? Ok, improved mood.
Speaker 1:Uh huh.
Speaker 2:Enhanced performance, wow, even increased resilience in the face of challenges.
Speaker 1:So it's not just about feeling good. It's about actually performing better and navigating life's ups and downs more effectively.
Speaker 2:Exactly. It's about giving yourself the mental tools you need to thrive.
Speaker 1:This is starting to feel like a superpower.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:We have this untapped potential just waiting to be unlocked.
Speaker 2:That's a great way to put it.
Speaker 1:So, as we wrap up this deep dive into the world of self-talk, what's the one key takeaway you want our listener to walk away with?
Speaker 2:That the words we use have power. Okay, by becoming more mindful of our self-talk.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And consciously choosing to use more positive and empowering language, we can quite literally change our brains and our lives for the better.
Speaker 1:I love that. It's such an empowering message.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 1:It's a journey, not a destination.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Speaking of journeys, our listener is on this journey of self-discovery with us.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:What's one small step they can take today to start experimenting with the power of positive self-talk?
Speaker 2:I'd say, take a moment to think about one negative mouth habit that you use regularly. Okay, maybe it's I can't or I'm not good enough, or even just a simple when things get tough.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Now challenge yourself to replace that phrase with a more positive alternative. All right, it doesn't have to be anything fancy. Just a small shift in language can make a world of difference.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And remember change takes time.
Speaker 1:That's a great challenge.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Be patient with yourself. It takes time to reprogram those deeply ingrained thought patterns For sure. And don't forget to celebrate those small victories.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Each time you catch yourself using a more positive phrase, give yourself a mental high five.
Speaker 2:Exactly those small victories add up over time.
Speaker 1:It's like we're building momentum, one positive phrase at a time. And you know, it's so much easier to make these kinds of changes when we have a support system in place.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Did the Japanese podcast touch on that at all?
Speaker 2:They did. The host actually emphasized the importance of community Okay and shared how they've created this network of support for their listeners, who are all working on improving their self-talk.
Speaker 1:That's really cool. Having that group of people who understand what you're going through and can offer encouragement can make a world of difference.
Speaker 2:Totally.
Speaker 1:Like we're all in this together, figuring things out as we go. You know, another point they brought up that really resonated with me was this idea of gratitude.
Speaker 2:Oh, interesting.
Speaker 1:I'm always fascinated by the concept of gratitude and its effects on our well-being. Yeah, what was their take on it?
Speaker 2:They talked about cultivating a grateful mindset as a way to counteract negative self-talk. Okay, when we focus on the good things in our lives, it becomes harder to get bogged down by negativity.
Speaker 1:It's like shifting your perspective from what's wrong to what's right.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:It makes sense that appreciating the good can help drown out the negative.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And even on those tough days when it feels like everything is going wrong, there's always something to be grateful for.
Speaker 2:Always Even something small like a warm cup of coffee or a beautiful sunset.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those small moments of joy can really shift our mood.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:So we've got positive self-talk, self-compassion and gratitude. It's like a recipe for a happier and more fulfilling life.
Speaker 2:I love that analogy.
Speaker 1:As we wrap up this deep dive into the power of positive self-talk. What's one final thought you want to leave our listener with?
Speaker 2:I would say this your words have power.
Speaker 1:Oh OK.
Speaker 2:Choose them wisely and use them to create the life you want. It all starts with that internal dialogue.
Speaker 1:Beautifully said. And remember you are not alone on this journey. We're all on this together, One positive phrase at a time. Thanks for joining us on this deep dive. We'll catch you next time for another fascinating exploration. It's like we're building momentum. One positive phrase at a time. Yeah, and you know, it's so much easier to make positive changes when we have, like, a support system.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Did the Japanese podcast touch on that at all?
Speaker 2:They did. The host actually emphasized the importance of community.
Speaker 1:Oh cool.
Speaker 2:And they even shared how they created a network of support for their listeners, who are all working on improving their self-talk.
Speaker 1:That's amazing, having that group of people who understand what you're going through.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And can offer encouragement can make a world of difference.
Speaker 2:Definitely.
Speaker 1:It's like we're all in this together, figuring things out as we go. Another point they brought up that I thought was really interesting was this idea of gratitude.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Gratitude is huge.
Speaker 1:I'm always fascinated by the concept of gratitude and its effect on our well-being. What was their take on it?
Speaker 2:They talked about cultivating a grateful mindset as a powerful way to counteract negative self-talk. When we focus on all the good things in our lives, it's harder to get bogged down by negativity.
Speaker 1:It's like shifting your perspective from what's wrong to what's right. Exactly. It makes sense that appreciating the good can help drown out the negative.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And even on those tough days when it feels like everything is going wrong, there's always something to be grateful for.
Speaker 2:Always.
Speaker 1:Even something as small as a warm cup of coffee or a beautiful sunset.
Speaker 2:Totally.
Speaker 1:So we've got positive self-talk, self-compassion and gratitude. It's like a recipe for a happier, more fulfilling life. I love that analogy. As we wrap up this deep dive into the power of positive self-talk, yes. What's one final thought? You want to leave our listener with.
Speaker 2:I would say this your words have power.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Choose them wisely and use them to create the life you want.
Speaker 1:Powerful stuff.
Speaker 2:It all starts with that internal dialogue.
Speaker 1:Beautifully said and remember you're not alone on this journey.
Speaker 2:We're all in this together.
Speaker 1:One positive phrase at a time.
Speaker 2:That's it.
Speaker 1:Thanks for joining.
