All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
Teru Nakashima: A Pioneer in Self-Esteem Psychology
# Teru Nakashima: Leading Voice in Self-Esteem Psychology
Teru Nakashima is a prominent Japanese psychological counselor, author, and public speaker who developed "Natural Psychology," an approach to enhancing self-acceptance and transforming lives. After overcoming severe personal struggles, including a decade as a hikikomori (social recluse) and multiple suicide attempts, he independently studied psychology and therapy, developing methods that led to his own recovery and eventually helping others.
## Core Theory and Methodology
Nakashima's theory of self-acceptance centers on six fundamental elements:
- Sense of Existence: Feeling one's life has value
- Sense of Competence: Believing in one's abilities
- Sense of Belonging: Feeling accepted in society
- Sense of Security: Having a safe space
- Self-Trust: Being reliable and dependable
- Self-Esteem: Recognizing one's inherent worth
His methodology follows three key steps:
1. Self-Recognition: Acknowledging all aspects of oneself
2. Self-Acceptance: Embracing one's complete self
3. Self-Affirmation: Recognizing one's inherent value
## Impact and Work
Nakashima has authored several bestselling books, including "Three Steps to Enhance Self-Acceptance" and "How to Love Yourself." He conducts training sessions nationwide for corporations, educational institutions, and hospitals. His YouTube channel and daily newsletter provide practical guidance on self-acceptance and personal growth.
His unique contribution includes the concept of "mental brakes" - unconscious blocks formed from past trauma and negative thought patterns. He teaches that true self-acceptance isn't about forced positivity but embracing one's authentic self completely. Nakashima also introduces "fudoshin" (immovable mind) as the ultimate state of self-acceptance - maintaining inner stability regardless of external circumstances.
His work particularly resonates in Japanese society, where issues of self-worth and social pressure are prevalent. Through seminars, books, digital content, and counseling sessions, Nakashima continues to provide hope and practical guidance to those struggling with self-acceptance, while his principles are increasingly applied in organizational development to improve workplace relationships and employee well-being.
All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
Affirmation Beyond Maslow's Hierarchy
Here's a briefing document summarizing the main themes and ideas from the provided text.
Briefing Document: Teru Nakashima's "Affirmation Desire"
Source: Excerpts from "Pasted Text" (Author: Teru Nakashima, representative of the Self-Affirmation Academy)
Main Theme: The importance of "affirmation desire" – self-acceptance and self-affirmation – as a crucial element for self-realization, going beyond Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and overcoming the pitfalls of solely seeking external validation.
Key Ideas and Facts:
- Beyond Maslow's Hierarchy: Nakashima builds on Maslow's five-stage hierarchy of needs (physiological, safety, social, esteem, self-actualization) by introducing an additional layer he calls "affirmation desire" .
- Distinction between Affirmation Desire and Approval Desire: He clearly differentiates affirmation desire from approval desire , emphasizing that the former is the desire to accept and acknowledge oneself, whereas the latter is the desire to be recognized by others .
- The Limitations of Approval Seeking: The text argues that relying solely on external validation or approval can lead to dependency and a perpetual need for more external affirmation. "For example, if someone tells you 'it's okay to be yourself,' you may feel temporarily satisfied. However, it can lead to increased dependency or a continuous search for approval."
- Self-Acceptance as the Key to Independence: Nakashima argues that cultivating self-acceptance (自己受容) is vital for independent action and resilience to external opinions. "When you truly accept 'This is me,' 'This is my life,' you become able to act independently, unswayed by the evaluations of others."
- Innate Self-Affirmation: The author claims that individuals are born without self-doubt or the need for self-negation. "Newborn babies do not know how to deny themselves. We were originally supposed to be without feelings of self-denial such as 'I am worthless' or 'I may be hated.'" He suggests that societal interactions and environmental factors contribute to developing self-doubt.
- Recovering Self-Affirmation: The overall message is encouraging, suggesting that people can rediscover and reclaim their innate self-affirmation and build a stronger sense of self. The goal is to reach a point where one can confidently say, "This is me!"
- Basis in Experience: Nakashima states that his ideas are based on 30 years of personal experience and clinical work with 15,000 individuals.
In Essence: This excerpt proposes that achieving true self-realization requires developing a strong sense of self-affirmation, which goes beyond merely seeking external approval. It suggests that self-acceptance is the foundation for independence, resilience, and genuine self-expression, and that this self-acceptance is something we are born with but often lose due to external influences. The excerpt encourages readers to actively cultivate their self-affirmation and reclaim their authentic selves.
Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
Okay, so today we're going to do a deep dive into something pretty fascinating. Sounds good. It's this Japanese term kute, yokyo, kute yokyo. Which roughly translates to like affirmation need.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And we're going to be looking at some writing from Teru Nakashima. Oh right who leads a self-affirmation academy, so he's got a lot of experience with this.
Speaker 2:Cool.
Speaker 1:Are you ready to kind of unpack this idea a little bit?
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's do it. So affirmation need. I'm curious to see how this goes beyond like self-actualization.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's actually kind of where I wanted to go with this, because I feel like we all know about Maslow's hierarchy of needs and you kind of climb that pyramid Right and I get to the top and I'm like self-actualization. All right, what's next?
Speaker 2:Like is that it? Yeah, you think you've reached the peak but then you realize, maybe there's something beyond that.
Speaker 1:Is that what Nakashima is saying?
Speaker 2:He's basically saying that, yeah, you reach your full potential, you're doing all the things that you want to do.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But that's not the end. There's this deeper thing, this affirmation need.
Speaker 1:Okay, and it's not just about getting approval from other people, which we often think about. Well, yeah, I mean, we all want to be liked, right, we want validation from others. For sure is he saying that there's a distinction between that and true self-affirmation?
Speaker 2:that's exactly what he's saying okay because external validation, you know it can be fleeting. You get a compliment and you feel good for a little bit.
Speaker 1:Someone criticizes you and you feel bad makes sense, but nakashima's saying true fulfillment comes from within so it's not about needing somebody to say like, hey, you're great, you're awesome, right. It's like knowing that yourself deep down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're owning that for yourself, regardless of what other people think.
Speaker 1:Okay, I think I'm starting to get it, but I mean, how does this actually impact how we live our lives?
Speaker 2:Well, if your sense of worth is dependent on other people all the time, then you're always at the mercy of what they think. It's kind of like you're building your house on shaky ground.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a good analogy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you get hit by a little wind and the whole thing is going to topple over. But, if you have that self-affirmation, then you can handle those hard times. You can weather the storm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's interesting you say that because I'm thinking about a time when I took a pretty big professional risk. Oh yeah, and it didn't exactly pan out the way that I wanted it to. Oh no, and I was so focused on what everyone else thought about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I was letting all of their doubts really shake me.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And I think if I had had that solid foundation of self-affirmation I probably would have handled the whole thing a lot differently.
Speaker 2:And that's exactly what Nakashima is talking about when he says this Jiko Judo, this deep self-acceptance is essential.
Speaker 1:Okay, jiko Judo. So basically, like without that, you're just going to constantly be affected by other people's opinions of you.
Speaker 2:Exactly. You're not making decisions for yourself.
Speaker 1:Right, you're kind of like being blown around in the wind.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:Okay, but what about those negative thoughts?
Speaker 2:Negative thoughts oh yeah, the I'm not good enough, or, you know, I'm not smart enough, or whatever.
Speaker 1:All of that. Yeah, he's saying those aren't inherent.
Speaker 2:That's the fascinating part. He says we're not born with those. Wow, they're learned through our interactions and our experiences.
Speaker 1:So basically, we're conditioned to doubt ourselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's almost like we pick it up as we go along.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So we've internalized this, this stuff, for years. How do we reclaim that self-affirmation Like, where do you even begin? That's the million dollar question, right? I don't know if there's a one size fits all answer, but Nakashima says we have to identify those negative beliefs. Okay Challenge them yeah. See if they're actually true.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And start replacing them with positive ones. It's kind of like looking in the mirror and being like this is me.
Speaker 1:I love that this is me.
Speaker 2:And I'm enough.
Speaker 1:And I'm enough. That's like a declaration of independence from self-doubt.
Speaker 2:It is and it's a journey. It's not just like a one-time thing.
Speaker 1:Oh, so it's ongoing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're practicing self-compassion.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You're recognizing your strengths.
Speaker 1:Gotcha.
Speaker 2:And celebrating yourself for who you are. So it's not about being perfect. No, not at all, it's about embracing everything. Yeah, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Speaker 1:The imperfections, the whole nine yards.
Speaker 2:All of it.
Speaker 1:So, to everyone listening, think about what this means for you, like. What does it actually look like to embody this affirmation? Need, what steps can you take to cultivate this sense of self-acceptance?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's starting today.
Speaker 1:Right, like what can you do? Maybe it's challenging those negative thoughts.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's setting boundaries, maybe it's celebrating even those small wins that you have.
Speaker 2:All good things to consider.
Speaker 1:Keep exploring this idea. I think there's a whole lot of freedom waiting for you on the other side of self-affirmation.
Speaker 2:I think so too. It's worth the journey.
Speaker 1:It is.
