All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
Teru Nakashima: A Pioneer in Self-Esteem Psychology
# Teru Nakashima: Leading Voice in Self-Esteem Psychology
Teru Nakashima is a prominent Japanese psychological counselor, author, and public speaker who developed "Natural Psychology," an approach to enhancing self-acceptance and transforming lives. After overcoming severe personal struggles, including a decade as a hikikomori (social recluse) and multiple suicide attempts, he independently studied psychology and therapy, developing methods that led to his own recovery and eventually helping others.
## Core Theory and Methodology
Nakashima's theory of self-acceptance centers on six fundamental elements:
- Sense of Existence: Feeling one's life has value
- Sense of Competence: Believing in one's abilities
- Sense of Belonging: Feeling accepted in society
- Sense of Security: Having a safe space
- Self-Trust: Being reliable and dependable
- Self-Esteem: Recognizing one's inherent worth
His methodology follows three key steps:
1. Self-Recognition: Acknowledging all aspects of oneself
2. Self-Acceptance: Embracing one's complete self
3. Self-Affirmation: Recognizing one's inherent value
## Impact and Work
Nakashima has authored several bestselling books, including "Three Steps to Enhance Self-Acceptance" and "How to Love Yourself." He conducts training sessions nationwide for corporations, educational institutions, and hospitals. His YouTube channel and daily newsletter provide practical guidance on self-acceptance and personal growth.
His unique contribution includes the concept of "mental brakes" - unconscious blocks formed from past trauma and negative thought patterns. He teaches that true self-acceptance isn't about forced positivity but embracing one's authentic self completely. Nakashima also introduces "fudoshin" (immovable mind) as the ultimate state of self-acceptance - maintaining inner stability regardless of external circumstances.
His work particularly resonates in Japanese society, where issues of self-worth and social pressure are prevalent. Through seminars, books, digital content, and counseling sessions, Nakashima continues to provide hope and practical guidance to those struggling with self-acceptance, while his principles are increasingly applied in organizational development to improve workplace relationships and employee well-being.
All about Self-esteem by Teru Nakashima, Japan
Cultivating the "Six Senses": Daily Habits for Self-Growth
This episode delves into Teru Nakashima's innovative approach to self-affirmation, using a tree metaphor that encompasses the journey from self-esteem to purpose. By exploring elements such as roots, trunk, branches, leaves, flowers, and fruit, we learn how to foster a positive self-perception that affects our lives and communities.
• Exploring Nakashima's unique tree metaphor of self-affirmation
• Roots symbolize self-esteem and the foundation of self-worth
• Trunk represents self-acceptance and embracing imperfections
• Branches highlight self-efficacy and belief in achieving goals
• Leaves signify self-confidence as an outward expression of inner strength
• Flowers embody self-determination and making authentic choices
• Fruit symbolizes usefulness and contribution to the community
• Importance of practical affirmation sheets for targeted growth
- Why are specific morning habits like drinking water and avoiding social media recommended?
- These morning habits are designed to cultivate a positive mindset and a strong sense of self at the start of the day. Drinking water symbolizes nourishing one's own existence and recognizing self-worth, as water is essential for life. Avoiding social media at this time prevents comparison to others and allows for focusing on oneself, reinforcing self-esteem. They help center your attention inward, setting a positive tone for the day, before external influences take over.
- How do the "daytime habits" differ from the "morning habits," and what is their purpose?
- While morning habits focus on planting the seeds for the day by cultivating self-esteem and self-acceptance, daytime habits are aimed at fostering growth, confidence, and a sense of contribution. They emphasize taking action, reflecting on progress, and engaging with the world. For example, reviewing one's schedule promotes self-efficacy, while picking up trash instills a sense of making a positive impact. The goal is to actively nurture the "tree" (the 6 senses) throughout the day.
- What is the significance of habits like expressing gratitude ("thank you") and identifying things you desire?
- Expressing gratitude cultivates positive relationships and reinforces the connection between your actions and their effects on others, thus nurturing a sense of self-worth and contribution. Identifying desires is about acknowledging and honoring your own wants and needs. This helps in making choices that align with your authentic self, fostering self-determination and contributing to overall happiness. Being aware of your desires also helps you better plan and realize goals.
- Why are "nighttime habits" focused on relaxation and reflection?
- Nighttime habits are geared toward healing, reflection, and preparing for a restful sleep. The purpose is to release the tensions and stresses accumulated throughout the day and to foster a sense of peace and gratitude. Habits like expressing gratitude to your body, cleaning your environment, and journaling allow you to reflect on the day's experiences and cultivate a positive outlook. These practices promote self-acceptance and prepare you for a refreshed start the next day.
- How can habits like cleaning your shoes and organizing your workspace contribute to well-being?
- These habits might seem mundane, but they promote a sense of control, order, and preparation. Cleaning shoes symbolizes preparing for the future and taking pride in one's appearance. Organizing your workspace creates a more peaceful and efficient environment, reducing stress and promoting clarity of mind. These actions indirectly contribute to self-confidence and a sense of self-efficacy by creating a positive and manageable external world t
Teru Nakashima, All about Self-esteem
Welcome back everyone. We're about to take a deep dive into the world of self-affirmation, but with a twist.
Speaker 2:Ooh a twist.
Speaker 1:You bet we're exploring the work of Teru Nakashima.
Speaker 2:A Japanese expert in self-affirmation.
Speaker 1:Right and his system is really unique.
Speaker 2:Unique how.
Speaker 1:Well, he uses a tree metaphor to explain it all.
Speaker 2:A tree.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like each part of the tree represents a different aspect of self-affirmation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:Pretty cool right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's very visual, I like it.
Speaker 1:So visual. So we're going to unpack all of that today.
Speaker 2:Let's dig into this tree.
Speaker 1:Okay, so the tree metaphor it's the core of Nakashima's approach and he's created these sheets of affirmation Sheets, yeah, sheets that target different areas for growth.
Speaker 2:Like different branches.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and they all link back to a specific part of the tree.
Speaker 2:Hmm, I'm curious, where did he even begin with this tree?
Speaker 1:Well, just like a real tree, it all starts with the roots.
Speaker 2:Okay, the roots.
Speaker 1:And for Nakashima the roots. They represent self-esteem.
Speaker 2:The foundation.
Speaker 1:Exactly. It's that bedrock of like truly believing in your own worth.
Speaker 2:Gotcha, because if you don't have strong roots, you can't grow.
Speaker 1:So what kind of affirmations are we talking about here? For the roots?
Speaker 2:Think like you have potential, or age doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Simple but powerful, huh yeah.
Speaker 2:They remind you that your value comes from within.
Speaker 1:Not from achievements or what other people think Exactly. It's funny because sometimes I catch myself like focusing on what I haven't done yet.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Or comparing myself to others, and these affirmations they seem like a good way to combat that.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure they can help reframe those negative thoughts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2:So, building on the roots, that foundation of self-esteem, we move up the tree to the trunk.
Speaker 1:To the trunk.
Speaker 2:And that symbolizes self-acceptance.
Speaker 1:Self-acceptance. So that's about like embracing our imperfection.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because nobody's perfect right.
Speaker 2:You got it. We all have our flaws Totally, and Nakashima provides affirmations like failure is not bad.
Speaker 1:I will like that one.
Speaker 2:And another one is it takes time to see results.
Speaker 1:It does.
Speaker 2:They encourage us to be patient, you know.
Speaker 1:Be, patient.
Speaker 2:It's like learning a new skill, yeah. I'm not going to be an expert overnight.
Speaker 1:Right, it's about the journey.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 1:So we've got roots, the trunk. What's?
Speaker 2:next the branches. They represent self-efficacy.
Speaker 1:Self-efficacy. Is that about like believing you can achieve your goals? Yes, it's about believing in your starts to happen.
Speaker 2:Exactly. You're not just accepting yourself, you're believing in your capacity to make things happen.
Speaker 1:I love it and do the affirmations change here?
Speaker 2:They do. Yeah, on this sheet you'll find things like your limits are further than you think. That's a good one, and work can be enjoyable.
Speaker 1:Work can be enjoyable. I like that one. Sometimes it's easy to get bogged down in the day to day.
Speaker 2:I know what you mean.
Speaker 1:And forget to enjoy the work.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Okay, so branches are about believing we can do things. What about the leaves?
Speaker 2:Ah the leaves. They symbolize self-confidence. Self-confidence that's the outward expression of believing in yourself and your strengths.
Speaker 1:So like self-efficacy is the inner drive, yeah, and then self-confidence is like the swagger you got it.
Speaker 2:It's about owning your abilities and putting them out there and are there affirmations for this too? Of course, nakashima includes things like your smile is wonderful and the world is vast with possibilities yeah, so it's like embracing our unique qualities exactly, and recognizing that, like anything, is possible exactly wow, I'm really seeing how all of this connects. It's all coming together, we've got roots.
Speaker 1:trunk branches leaves what's left the blossoms.
Speaker 2:Close. It's the flowers that represent self-determination.
Speaker 1:Okay, self-determination. What's that all about?
Speaker 2:It's like making choices that align with your values.
Speaker 1:So you're creating a life that's authentic to you.
Speaker 2:That's it.
Speaker 1:You're taking control not letting outside pressures dictate your path.
Speaker 2:I like that. So what are some of the affirmations here? Well, there's family is important and life is enjoyable.
Speaker 1:Simple but like profound in a way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they encourage you to reflect on what truly matters to you.
Speaker 1:And then build a life that reflects those priorities.
Speaker 2:Precisely, it's a reminder that you have the power to shape your own reality.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. We're not just passively accepting ourselves, we're actively shaping our lives.
Speaker 2:You got it.
Speaker 1:And finally we reach the fruit.
Speaker 2:The fruit this one's important.
Speaker 1:It is. What does it symbolize?
Speaker 2:It symbolizes a sense of usefulness.
Speaker 1:Usefulness, sense of usefulness, usefulness, that feeling of contributing to the world okay like making a positive impact so it's not just about self-improvement right it's about, like recognizing our place in the bigger picture yes, and understanding that our actions, they actually matter like the culmination of all the other stages exactly each part of the tree builds on the one before it and ultimately leads to this sense of purpose and connection to something larger than ourselves. Okay, so we've explored this incredible tree metaphor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a pretty awesome visual.
Speaker 1:It is, but Nakashina doesn't stop there.
Speaker 2:Oh, there's more.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, he's also created these remember sheets of affirmations. The sheets right yeah and they're organized around different emotional needs.
Speaker 2:Oh, this is fascinating. Tell me more.
Speaker 1:I will, we'll get into those next.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm ready. He's got three distinct sheets energizing words, healing words and courage-building words.
Speaker 1:Okay, so each of these sheets uses the tree metaphor.
Speaker 2:They do to target specific areas for growth.
Speaker 1:This is so cool. I'm ready to learn about these sheets. All right, let's start with energizing words. Energizing words.
Speaker 2:This one focuses on laying a solid foundation.
Speaker 1:So like the roots in the trunk of our tree.
Speaker 2:Exactly. It's all about self-esteem and self-acceptance.
Speaker 1:So bolstering that sense of inherent worth and like embracing ourselves, flaws and all.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:So what kind of affirmations are on this sheet?
Speaker 2:You'll find things like you are constantly growing.
Speaker 1:I like that.
Speaker 2:And your natural self is loved.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 2:It's about recognizing that we're always evolving.
Speaker 1:We are.
Speaker 2:And our value isn't tied to being perfect.
Speaker 1:Right. It's like a reminder to be kind to ourselves, to appreciate the journey.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Because it's easy to get caught up in striving for perfection.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:And then we forget to just like appreciate who we are right now.
Speaker 2:It happens.
Speaker 1:Okay, so that's energizing words. What about healing words?
Speaker 2:Healing words. This one shifts the focus to the branches and leaves so cultivating self-efficacy and confidence. Exactly. It's about envisioning a positive future Okay and believing in your power to shape it.
Speaker 1:I love that. And what are some examples of the affirmations on this sheet?
Speaker 2:You'll see affirmations like you can attract happiness Attract happiness. Yeah, and wonderful work opportunities will come to you.
Speaker 1:You know, I think some people might be like oh, that's too simple. Or like Wishful thinking. Yeah, but I'm starting to see how powerful these affirmations can actually be.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's not about like passively waiting for good things to happen.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:It's about cultivating the right mindset.
Speaker 1:A mindset of possibility.
Speaker 2:Exactly and believing that you deserve those good things.
Speaker 1:You do.
Speaker 2:And actually there's a lot of research in psychology that supports affirmations.
Speaker 1:Oh really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, studies have shown that repeating positive statements about yourself.
Speaker 1:It can change your brain.
Speaker 2:It can. It can lead to like increased self-esteem, reduced stress.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Even improved performance.
Speaker 1:So there's science behind it.
Speaker 2:There is. It's not just like feel good stuff.
Speaker 1:Wow, I didn't know that.
Speaker 2:It's really fascinating and one of the key principles is this idea of self-fulfilling prophecy. Self-fulfilling prophecy so if we believe something is true about ourselves we're more likely to act in ways that confirm it. Exactly so if you're always thinking negative thoughts it just continues. Yeah, it becomes a cycle, but if you can shift your internal dialogue, to be more positive yeah, you can actually create positive change in your life.
Speaker 1:It's like that saying which one whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.
Speaker 2:Yes, our beliefs have a huge impact on our actions and our outcomes.
Speaker 1:Totally so. Affirmations they give us a tool to shape those beliefs.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and Nakashima's system with the tree metaphor and the sheets.
Speaker 1:It's like a structured approach.
Speaker 2:It is, it's very accessible.
Speaker 1:Because self-improvement can feel daunting sometimes.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure.
Speaker 1:But this system breaks it down into like smaller steps.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, so energizing words, healing words. We've got one more sheet Courage building words.
Speaker 2:Yes, Courage building words.
Speaker 1:What's the focus there?
Speaker 2:This one focuses on the flowers and fruit of the tree.
Speaker 1:The flowers and fruit.
Speaker 2:Encouraging self-determination, finding meaning in relationships.
Speaker 1:Okay, and recognizing our contributions to the world.
Speaker 2:So it's like that outward ripple effect Exactly. It's about connecting with your values and understanding your place in the bigger picture.
Speaker 1:Not just focusing on ourselves.
Speaker 2:Right, you're thinking about how you connect with others.
Speaker 1:And contribute to the world it's a beautiful thing. It is and what are the affirmations like on this sheet?
Speaker 2:Well, one that really stands out to me is don't be afraid to rely on others. Oh, stands out to me is don't be afraid to rely on others. Oh, that's a good one. It challenges the idea that asking for help is weak.
Speaker 1:It's so true we feel like we have to do everything ourselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But we need each other.
Speaker 2:We do.
Speaker 1:Sometimes being vulnerable.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And allowing ourselves to be supported. It's like the strongest thing we can do.
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 1:Okay, what else is on this sheet? Another one is if someone helps, you pay it forward to someone else oh, I love that one it's a reminder that we're all interconnected and that supporting others is just as important as receiving support exactly, it's a beautiful cycle it is.
Speaker 2:It creates that sense of community yeah, and there's another interesting affirmation on this sheet. Talk to someone completely unrelated someone completely unrelated encouraging you to seek out diverse perspectives.
Speaker 1:Oh, step outside of our usual social circles.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Sometimes the best advice comes from people who are totally outside of your situation.
Speaker 1:It's so easy to get stuck in our echo chambers.
Speaker 2:I know what you mean.
Speaker 1:Surrounded by people who think like us.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But growth happens when we expose ourselves to different viewpoints.
Speaker 2:It does, it challenges our assumptions.
Speaker 1:It expands our worldview.
Speaker 2:Exactly. It helps us understand that there are so many different ways of seeing and experiencing the world.
Speaker 1:And it helps us develop empathy for others too.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. It's about recognizing that everyone has different backgrounds and beliefs.
Speaker 1:Talk to someone completely unrelated.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Such a simple suggestion it is, it's so profound.
Speaker 2:It could have a big impact on your personal growth and on your understanding of the world.
Speaker 1:I'm really starting to see how these affirmations can be powerful. They are Not just for ourselves, but for our relationships and for our connection to the larger community.
Speaker 2:It's amazing how a few simple words can have such a ripple effect.
Speaker 1:A ripple effect?
Speaker 2:Yeah, influencing not just your thought and feelings, but your actions too and your interactions with others.
Speaker 1:It all comes back to that tree metaphor.
Speaker 2:It does.
Speaker 1:What starts as a seed of self-affirmation can grow into something so strong. And beautiful, and then it branches out and connects with the world.
Speaker 2:That's a beautiful way to put it.
Speaker 1:Now, before we move on, I want to highlight a few specific affirmations from Nakashima's work that really showcase the power of language.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 1:Are you ready for some deep dives into individual affirmations?
Speaker 2:I am ready, let's go. Let's start with one that resonated with me from the energizing word sheet.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You are a wonderful person, just as you are.
Speaker 1:You are a wonderful person, just as you are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so simple.
Speaker 1:It is.
Speaker 2:But it's a powerful reminder that our worth isn't contingent on anything external.
Speaker 1:Like we don't have to achieve anything. Or change anything or be worthy of love and acceptance.
Speaker 2:Exactly. We're inherently worthy.
Speaker 1:Just as we are.
Speaker 2:Right, and sometimes it's easy to forget that.
Speaker 1:It is. We get caught up in comparing ourselves to others.
Speaker 2:Or striving for some ideal of perfection.
Speaker 1:Right and this affirmation. It's like a gentle nudge. To come back to ourselves and To come back to ourselves and embrace who we are.
Speaker 2:Exactly, flaws and all.
Speaker 1:I like that one a lot.
Speaker 2:Me too. It's a good one to keep in mind.
Speaker 1:It is and you know, as we've been talking about these affirmations, I've been reflecting on how they might fit into my own life.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:You know there are times when I struggle with self-doubt.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Especially when I'm facing new challenges.
Speaker 2:I think that's totally normal.
Speaker 1:It is.
Speaker 2:To experience self-doubt sometimes.
Speaker 1:It is.
Speaker 2:It's part of being human.
Speaker 1:Right, and it's how we respond to those doubts that matters.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and that's where affirmations can be so helpful. It's like giving yourself a pep talk, yeah, reminding yourself of your strengths and your potential for growth.
Speaker 1:And it's about cultivating that inner voice.
Speaker 2:Yes, that, yes, that supportive and compassionate inner voice.
Speaker 1:Right One affirmation that stood out to me from the healing word sheet.
Speaker 2:Oh which one.
Speaker 1:Is wonderful, work opportunities will come to you.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that one.
Speaker 1:I do too. We touched on it earlier.
Speaker 2:We did.
Speaker 1:But it really resonated with me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it speaks to our relationship with abundance. Abundance and opportunity, yeah sometimes we focus so much on what we lack.
Speaker 1:We do.
Speaker 2:That we forget to appreciate the abundance that's already there.
Speaker 1:It's so true and this affirmation it reminds us to stay open.
Speaker 2:To new possibilities.
Speaker 1:To believe that good things are coming.
Speaker 2:Exactly, it's about shifting from a mindset of scarcity.
Speaker 1:To a mindset of abundance.
Speaker 2:Yes, trusting that the universe is conspiring in your favor.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:I like that. It doesn't mean you just sit back and wait for things to happen.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But you approach life with a sense of openness.
Speaker 1:Openness and receptivity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like you're sending out a signal.
Speaker 1:A signal. Saying, hey, I'm ready for amazing things and when we believe that we're more likely to notice those opportunities.
Speaker 2:And seize them.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's like aligning our beliefs with our actions.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and it ties back to self-efficacy too.
Speaker 1:It does.
Speaker 2:If you believe you can create opportunities.
Speaker 1:Then you're more likely to take action.
Speaker 2:Yeah, to make them happen.
Speaker 1:It's all interconnected. Our beliefs shape our actions.
Speaker 2:And our agonies shape our reality.
Speaker 1:It's a powerful cycle.
Speaker 2:It is now Before we wrap up.
Speaker 1:Okay, I wanted to circle. It's the flowers, the flowers, that idea of self-determination.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm a big believer in creating a life that feels authentic, aligned with my values.
Speaker 2:That's great.
Speaker 1:But it's easy to get caught up in expectations. It is, you know, societal pressures, yeah, so affirmations that encourage me to stay true to myself and make choices that support my well-being.
Speaker 2:I like that. Those are powerful. For me that makes sense. What about you? Which part resonates most with you?
Speaker 1:Hmm, that's a good question. I think for me it's the branches.
Speaker 2:The branches Self-efficacy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm someone who thrives on setting goals and working towards them.
Speaker 2:Oh, I see.
Speaker 1:But sometimes self-doubt creeps in.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I start to question my ability.
Speaker 2:To achieve those goals.
Speaker 1:So affirmations that remind me of my strength and my resilience.
Speaker 2:That's great.
Speaker 1:Those are really helpful for me.
Speaker 2:That makes a lot of sense. It's interesting how different parts of the tree can resonate with us at different times in our lives.
Speaker 1:Like we're tending to our own inner garden.
Speaker 2:I love that analogy.
Speaker 1:Nurturing different aspects of ourselves.
Speaker 2:We grow.
Speaker 1:Exactly, we've covered so much in this deep dive.
Speaker 2:We have From the power of words to the science behind affirmations. And the beauty of Nakashima's tree metaphor.
Speaker 1:But I think the biggest takeaway is that we have the power to shape our own self-perception.
Speaker 2:And ultimately our own reality.
Speaker 1:It's about recognizing that our thoughts and beliefs aren't fixed.
Speaker 2:Right, they're invaluable.
Speaker 1:And with tools like affirmations, we can cultivate a more positive inner dialogue.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and that can have a ripple effect on every aspect of your life.
Speaker 1:Our relationships, our careers, our well-being. It all starts within every aspect of your life, our relationships, our careers, our well-being. It all starts within. So, as we wrap up, I want to encourage our listeners to explore Tara Nakashima's work further.
Speaker 2:Yes, his approach is so inspiring.
Speaker 1:It offers a practical roadmap for anyone looking to cultivate a more positive self-image.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and remember this is a journey, not a destination. Right, Be patient with yourself, experiment and celebrate your progress along the way.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for joining us on this deep dive into the world of self-affirmation.
Speaker 2:It's been a pleasure.
Speaker 1:Until next time, keep seeking, keep exploring and keep nurturing the power within you.
